The Butterfly sex position takes inspo from the shape of a butterfly’s extended wings. Cute! But make no mistake—apart from being easy and versatile, it’s oh-so-hot. Essentially, the receiver lies on their back upon a table, chair, or bed, and lifts their legs onto the receiver’s shoulders (legs=butterfly wings), who’s standing to enter. From there, you can riff off the basic form depending on what you’re into.
“The Butterfly can work for anyone, whatever gender or sexuality—it really is an ‘every hole’s a goal’ situation here,” says Ruby Payne, sexpert for UberKinky. “By having someone stand to thrust, you get better angles and access, and you can give the tush some love too. The thruster can be a penis-owner or a vulva-owner, and it’s great for peggers.”
Feel free to adjust the penetration to your liking. The giver can make the penetration deeper or shallower depending on the receiver’s preference. Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Fleshy and author of Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject, recommends clear communication and instruction. Don't be afraid to tell your partner exactly what feels good to you! “For instance, a lot of people enjoy when their partner thrusts in an upward motion with their hips," says Weiss. "If deep penetration isn't pleasurable for you, you can use a toy like the OhNut to limit the depth.”
You can also create a bespoke clitoral experience, since this position’s wide-open legs make clit stimulation super easy. “The stander gets to display their fabulous finger work, or alternatively, the person lying down can use a vibrator on themselves for easy self-pleasure access,” says Payne.
Plus, remember that versatility we were talking about before? We weren’t joking. The Butterfly can be used for rough sex, fast pounding, and deep, slow penetration, says Anya Laeta, a Somatic sex and relationship coach. You can also incorporate power play by tying up the receiver’s hands or legs, and/or spice it up with toys. It pairs well with cock rings, butt plug or anal beads, clitoral suction toys, nipple clamps, and wands—the possibilities are endless.
Have your own sex life metamorphosis with the OG Butterfly, plus a few variations to customize it to your liking.
1. The Butterfly
The receiver lies on their back on something sturdy and elevated, like a bed, table or dresser. The giver stand stands to penetrate. The receiver lifts their legs so their ankles are resting on the giver’s shoulders, and you’re good to go. The receiver can change up their leg positioning depending on what they’re feeling.
“Spreading your legs can help your partner last longer,” says Laeta. “Bringing your legs together or crossing them will add extra friction to your clitoris.” A wearable finger vibe will add even more friction.
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2. The Folding Table
Get emotionally closer by moving physically closer with a version of this position that puts you face-to-face with your SO and offers plenty of romantic eye contact. “Your partner is completely covering you, which creates a sense of warmth, safety, and security," says Weiss. "Plus, the position of your legs makes penetration even deeper. It's as if they're reaching all the way to your heart.”
To do it, the giver leans down and puts their hands on the table (or bed, or whatever surface you're using). The receiver brings their knees to their chest and drapes their legs over their partner’s shoulders. If you’re adding a vibrator, try something flat and easy to slip between your bodies.
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3. The Cocoon
On the bottom and craving more control? Try the Cocoon variation. If you're the receiver, “wrap your legs around your partner's butt and pull them in at your pace. This gives you control over their motion and makes them feel held, as if they're ensconced in a cocoon,” says Weiss. “You can experiment with pulling them in close and pausing to kiss or caress each other to intensify the emotional connection.” To intensify the clitoral sensations, try a wearable couples’ toy.
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4. The Side-Eye
When you want to create a tighter feel for the receiver, opt for the Side-Eye. First, the receiver lays their closed legs to the right or left. "This gives the partner on top more leverage by resting their hands on the bottom partner's hip,” says Goody Howard, resident sexologist for Royal. Then, the receiver squeezes their thighs together to control the tightness on the penis and the fullness they feel inside. "This can also help control how deep the penis goes, which is a bonus for longer penises, more shallow vaginal canals, or sensation-centered anal sex," says Howard.
5. The Anvil
If your cervix can take it, press your feet or legs against your partner’s chest. They lean forward, pushing your legs back toward your body. “This can make the penetration feel even deeper,” says Tatyana Dyachenko, sex therapist and relationship expert for Peaches and Screams.
