The Sexiest College Hookup Stories We’ve Ever Published, Ranked
Allow these real-life tales of sex betweeen the twin XL sheets to inspire your back-to-school bucket list.
The summer before my freshman year of college, I purchased my very first piece of lingerie. I had no idea what the next four years would hold, but thanks to growing up in a culture of extremely sexualized media that painted the pursuit of higher education as one big fuck fest, I was pretty sure it was going to involve a lot of sex and I wanted to dress the part. For me, apparently, this meant buying a black satin nightie with white lace trim that was definitely giving more “French maid” than “sexy sorority sister.” (What? I can’t help it if I was born to be a young widow with a terrible secret who entertains unsuspecting men in the sprawling estate she recently inherited from her late husband and have the lingerie taste to match.)
In any event, I’m not sure what kind of sex my 18-year-old self thought I was going to be having on the ol’ twin XL, but I can assure you that at no point did hooking up with Ethan from English class involve a sexy nightie.
So what does sex in college entail, you ask? Oh, nothing too crazy. Just banging a Navy sailor outside the gym 20 minutes after you met, getting eaten out on a washing machine in a frat house basement and, of course, topping off four years of Ivy League education with a celebratory senior week threesome.
...Or it does if you’re a bold and brazenly horny Cosmo Confessayist, anyway. While Confessays (aka Cosmo’s series of very steamy, completely true stories of real-life sexcapades as told by readers like you) come in all flavors of smutty sexperience, from sultry summer flings to sex party shenanigans to scandalous workplace affairs, we’d be lying if we said there weren’t a special place in our horny little hearts for a classic college hookup story. Here are six of our favorite tales straight from the real sex lives of college girls (and one guy 👀), ranked for your entertainment. Consider these the uncensored versions of the morning-after debrief you give your roommates following a particularly, um, eventful night out—with not a single dirty detail spared.
I Missed My Sorority Formal Because I Was Getting Eaten Out by a Frat Bro on a Washing Machine
It’s always tickled me that the dirtiest thing I’ve ever done happened in a room whose sole purpose is the pursuit of cleanliness. Yes, I’m talking about a laundry room—the laundry room, to be precise, where a frat boy once went down on me on a running washing machine in a dorm basement. Allow me to explain.
I met Eric* through my sorority sister. I needed a date for our upcoming Greek life mixer and she knew just the guy for me. Eric had sandy-brown hair that swept over his blue eyes in that baby Justin Bieber kind of way—it was 2011, alright? He was just under 6 feet tall, with a captivating smile and kind, sparkling eyes. We quickly hit it off over our shared love of skiing, dubstep, and vodka (#SoCollege). I was immediately charmed; he was so cute in a boyish way, one that made me feel safe and laugh easily. I don’t often hook up with guys on the first date, but this night, I was feeling frisky.
*Name has been changed.
I Had Sex With My Crush at a Party in a Random Stranger’s Basement
“Do you want to go to a bonfire tonight?” my crush texted me. It was a late Saturday morning and I was eating leftover room-temperature pizza on the floor of my dorm room, as one does when they are a freshman in college and then hopefully never again. He didn’t have to ask twice. Adnan* was a hopelessly handsome degenerate I’d hooked up with early that semester who wanted little to nothing to do with me and I was OBSESSED with him.
I savored every rare, brief text from him like it was a sacred declaration of love. I’d leave him deranged, long-winded voicemails when he’d ghost on plans. I’d swear off him entirely, change his contact name to things like “YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY NOT RESPOND TO THIS,” then proceed to gleefully fuck him in his car—perfectly groomed, perfumed, and hastily glammed—whenever he’d text me late on some random weeknight to let me know he was coming over.
I tell you all of this embarrassing information not just out of some apparent need to confess the sins of my youth but so you can fully grasp the magnitude of this bonfire invite. A text from him? Sent during the day?! Inviting me to actually do something with him?!! On the weekend?!!! IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE?!!! (Little did I know, I would, in fact, be doing, uh, something, with him in front of other people indeed.)
*Name has been changed.
I Had a Steamy Affair in a Hotel Fitness Room
The year was 2012 and I was young, dumb, and horny. I was visiting Colorado from Los Angeles to be my best guy friend Henry’s* date to his Greek formal...and I had a crush on his roommate, Jacob*, the second I laid eyes on him. As soon as he opened the door to his fraternity house, his black shaggy hair perfectly framing his bright blue eyes and megawatt smile, it was clear to pretty much everyone that Jacob and I had instant chemistry riddled with witty banter, playful jabs, and sexual innuendo. Nothing could get between our sexual tension…except maaaybe his girlfriend, Nadia.*
Now, I’ll have you know I’ve never been involved in an affair before or since this night and I’m not necessarily proud of what went down. But I still can’t help but feel turned on by the memory of being a bad girl for once in my life. In early-aughts suburbia, I grew up following the rules—cheerleading at the football games each Friday, going to church every Sunday, and always saying and doing the right thing. But something snapped in me that night—and tell me, isn’t that what your early 20s are all about? Making mistakes? This man was my mistake to make.
*Name has been changed.
I Gave a Secret Hand Job at the Frat Bro Holiday Party
I used to hate fraternities. As a closeted queer man, I didn’t feel particularly safe or welcomed at frat houses. Then, of course, there was the issue of—I’m not sure how to put this delicately—me wanting to lick their abs. Only, I didn’t admit that I wanted to lick their abs—that latent desire existed right below the threshold of consciousness. It definitely didn’t help that frat bros were—are—always working out shirtless, grabbing each other’s asses, or engaging in other homoerotic behavior (which has now become a staple of my porn viewing). That added a somewhat confusing element to my burgeoning sexuality and ambivalence toward hot frat boys. So I typically avoided their lairs like the plague.
But junior year, I visited my childhood friend at his school over winter break. He was having a big holiday blowout for his frat brothers at his place and said I should come. He sensed my reservations—being my best friend, I had told him about the many men I’d hooked up with—and he assured me these weren’t typical frat bros. I’d feel welcome, and it would be fun. Well, college Zach loved getting shit-faced, and lord knows alcohol would be flowing, so I agreed.
*Name has been changed.
The First Good Sex I Ever Had Was With a Navy Sailor Behind My College Gym
I was a wildly depressed college freshman and I was hunting dick like my life depended on it. I’d had sex exactly one time with exactly one person in high school, a short-lived boyfriend who unceremoniously dumped me almost immediately after said encounter. Still reeling from the emotional annihilation that was the aftermath of my sexual awakening, I’d decided the best course of action would be to simply fuck as many guys as I could get my hands on the minute I got to college.
Three weeks into my freshman year, blindly throwing myself into mindless hookups had come with the advantage of providing some illusion of the social life that had so far eluded me. Sure, I may not have friends, but at least I was having sex. It had also come with the rather predictable downside of lots of regrettable twin XL fucking with lots of regrettably gross dudes.
But that certainly wasn’t going to stop me from doing it again tonight.
*Name has been changed.
My Friend and I Celebrated Our College Graduation With a Threesome
“Do you want to hook up with us?” I asked, gesturing toward my gorgeous friend Ren.*
The classmate I was so casually propositioning, a football player from the entrepreneurship class I hated, was frozen in shock.
“What?”
The music was loud. Maybe he didn’t hear me.
“Do you want to hook up with us? Both of us?”
The only girl assigned to his group of student-athletes-slash-Business-majors (the standard combo), I had carried our class project on my tiny shoulders. Unfortunately, it was looking like he wouldn’t be picking me up on his broad, beefy ones to return the favor. We got a B+ for the final grade, but right now, I wanted the D. Ren and I were determined to have a threesome before we graduated.
*Name has been changed.
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