Whether TikTok sent you searching for more details or you’re here after going down a rabbit hole of NSFW sex things, odds are you’re wondering WTF a rainbow kiss is. While sure, it sounds like a romantic comedy-worthy moment between queer folks, that’s not exactly what’s happening. Like, at all.
According to staff sexologist at Good Vibes, Carol Queen PhD, a rainbow kiss is a variation of oral sex where (consenting, adult) partners simultaneously go down on each other (while one is menstruating) and then—you guessed it!—kiss. Said smooch mixes blood and semen in their mouths, hence the term.
If this sounds a lot like the classic 69 position, you’re not wrong. In fact, Atlanta-based sex educator and founder of The Sensible Sexpert, Wendasha Jenkins Hall, PhD, says a rainbow kiss likely evolved from oral-based period sex.
“You’ve heard the term ‘running the red light?’” she asks, referring to penetrative or oral sex performed while a partner is menstruating. “This is a level up from that.” Even though it might not be The Most Mainstream Sex Act Around, Hall says it’s a popular sexual activity people with various bodily fluid kinks and fetishes can enjoy (more on this later!).
Before judging rainbow kisses (or folks who are into the idea), sex educator Topaza Yu says destigmatizing sexual preferences is essential for promoting acceptance, understanding, and safety within diverse sexual communities. “By challenging societal taboos and misconceptions surrounding kink, individuals can feel more empowered to explore their desires safely, communicate boundaries effectively, and engage in consensual and fulfilling sexual experiences without fear of judgment or discrimination,” she says. So this is a no-judgment zone, k?
And if a rainbow kiss sounds like something you might want to consensually try with your partner, you’ve come to the right place. From safety around swapping bodily fluids like blood and semen between partners, to what you should keep in mind before trying it out, here’s everything you need to know about the wet, mythical kiss.
What Is a Rainbow Kiss?
A rainbow kiss happens when a person with a penis goes down on a person with a uterus during their period, while they also receive oral sex. It’s essentially 69-ing while one person menstruates. Once both partners have ejaculated in each other’s mouths, the couple kisses, mixing menstrual blood with semen in the process, thus the ~rainbow~ part of the rainbow kiss. And voilà!
“A rainbow kiss is a great way for everyone to enjoy the few minutes of cathartic bliss right after you both orgasm. Consider that the goal,” explains Danyell Fima, co-founder of Velvet Co. Hall explains that rainbow kisses fit on the broader spectrum of kinks associated with bodily fluids: Some people like to play with urine, spit, fecal matter, semen, and/or blood.
“A rainbow kiss is probably an elevated version of fluid play or paraphilias of that nature,” she says. Granted, the two shades mixing doesn’t exactly give you a rainbow, but Babeland’s sex educator, Lisa Finn, says those in the know appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.
What Is a Fluid Fetish?
As mentioned, a rainbow kiss is a sexual activity that typically falls under the fluid fetish umbrella, and yes, fluid fetishes are actually pretty popular kinks that many people enjoy! As the term suggests, when someone is especially excited by bodily fluids, they might have a fluid fetish or fluid kink, Queen explains. Some people might like the feel or the taste, while others might simply like *looking* at the fluids. It’s all about preferences.
And FYI, fluid fetishes aren’t limited to the fluids involved in rainbow kisses; you could be attracted to spit, urine, sweat, breast milk, or anything else in that vein. Finn says some folks might be into body fluids in general, while others might be about something specific within fluid play, such as bukkakes, creampies, or golden showers.
As for why someone might be into the kink, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. As Finn explains, sharing bodily fluids with a partner is an incredibly intimate act that involves a lot of trust. “The kink may be due to the taboo nature of the act because it departs from 'vanilla' expectations of sex,” she says. Or it might not be as complicated as all that. “Some people have a fluid fetish simply because it feels good,” Tim Lagman, a certified sex educator with the American Board of Sexology, adds. “The warm fluid on your skin or how it feels in your mouth can be comforting and enjoyable”
Ultimately, Finn stresses that “as long as it’s fully consensual and everyone is risk-aware,” there’s no right or wrong reason to be turned on by—and potentially explore—a fluid fetish.
Are Rainbow Kisses Safe?
Aside from the fact that rainbow kisses might make you feel queasy if blood and/or semen is absolutely not your thing, any sexual act involving the exchange of bodily fluids poses some serious health risks if not managed correctly. But while one doctor simply advises, "Pls, don't ever do it" on a X thread, there are ways to safely engage in a rainbow kiss. First and most important is testing for STIs.
"Semen and period blood can carry lots of different infectious particles, such as HIV, syphilis, and hepatitis," says ob-gyn Heather Irobunda, MD. "If you are unsure of your partner's STD status, you should not be sharing rainbow kisses."
Hall says it’s not enough to get one or infrequent STI tests if you’re engaging in sex acts like rainbow kisses regularly.
“When I say tested, I mean not just one time, but continually tested—every three to six months,” she stresses. “But if all partners are actively testing and they understand the boundaries and offer their consent, then it’s typically safe.”
Consent is critical for every sex act, but one involving the exchange of bodily fluids requires an additional level of understanding, she explains.
“[Rainbow kisses are] typically done among partners who take these safety precautions—they’re not done with a person on the street or a person on an app. It’s not a one-night stand kind of thing,” Hall explains. “There has to be some consent around what’s going on, there has to be safe words, limitations, and hard boundaries because of the disease and illness factors.”
Yu agrees, adding that engaging in safe sex activities is crucial for protecting both oneself and partners from sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancies.
How Is a Rainbow Kiss Performed?
Some reports suggest that a rainbow kiss is a happy accident that occurs when a person with a uterus coincidentally gets their period while their partner is performing cunnilingus. However, a little planning does go a long way.
For instance, it’s crucial that both partners be ready and willing to hold the respective blood and semen in their mouths after performing oral sex in preparation for that magical kiss—which is something that might not happen if you’re not planning for it.
As Fima explains, “The trick is for you and your partner to finish at about the same time, so that neither of you has to hold the blood or semen in your mouth too long. You've really got to know your body and know your partner.” Basically, timing, communication, and consent discussed beforehand is key.
Hall adds that you should also refrain from brushing or flossing your teeth, which can create little cuts inside your mouth, before attempting any kind of unprotected oral sex, especially a rainbow kiss.
“If you have those micro-abrasions and you go down on someone and you come in contact with semen, bodily fluids, or blood, that is a way that HIV and hepatitis, and even chlamydia or gonorrhea, can be transmitted,” she says. Her pro tip to keep yourself safe? “Don’t brush your teeth, don’t floss first. Go down, do what you do, and then afterwards wash your mouth out with an antiseptic mouthwash before you brush.”
If you notice your partner has any open cuts, wounds, or an active cold sore, Lagman says to hold off on a rainbow kiss, as this poses an additional risk of infection.
Why Are Some People Into Rainbow Kisses?
According to Sadie Allison, PhD, founder of TickleKitty.com, giving a rainbow kiss is a way for some people to enjoy period sex—an act that Hall says is becoming less and less taboo.
“It was once thought that it was 'dirty' or 'unclean' to have sex while you menstruate,” Hall explains. “But now we’re actually starting to see that there’s some benefits to having sex while you menstruate, like relieving stress or pain from headaches or menstrual cramps.”
Fima describes a rainbow kiss as “the pinnacle of showing comfort with and respect for your partner's body and your own.”
Beyond the physical benefits, Hall acknowledges other elements of period sex that might appeal to folks with different fetishes and kinks. Some people enjoy blood play, she says, which can take a variety of forms of its own, whether it’s derived from a fetish for vampires, werewolves, other mythical blood-thirsty creatures, or something else entirely. Blood play can also involve light cutting of the skin or menstrual blood.
“Now, we’re not talking about cutting off an arm or bleeding out on the floor,” she jokes. “But coming into contact with the taste of it, the smell of it, that’s often what turns people on. However, some people may use fake blood or stage blood. It all depends on the consent and boundaries of the partners.”
As for the rainbow kiss in particular, Allison adds, “Like the hundreds of other fetishes out there, this unique activity is perfectly okay to do so long as it's agreed upon by two consenting adults.” She also encourages couples performing the rainbow kiss to try using flavored lube to “add a new dimension to their sensory play.”
Is There a Good Rainbow Kiss Alternative?
If you find the idea of a rainbow kiss interesting (but aren’t sure you’re ready to jump all the way in), Lagman suggests starting slow and small. “Try experimenting with only a drop of semen and/or blood and a light peck before going to a full makeout session,” he says. “Slowly work your way up to more fluids and messier play.”
You can also simulate the act if safety is a concern. To do this, Finn advises playing with some fake fluids instead of the real stuff. “As mentioned, you can find fake edible blood at most Halloween stores, and conveniently enough, many hybrid lubricants (like LubeLife's Jizzy Juice or Good Lube Hybrid) kind of have a cum-like look to them already and are safe for oral, vaginal, and anal play. See how it turns you on before [or instead of] committing to the real thing.”
What Else Do I Need to Know Before I Engage in a Rainbow Kiss?
Hall emphasizes the importance of taking precautions when performing any sex act with a new partner, especially if one or both of you is menstruating.” She also adds that it’s possible to perform cunnilingus on a menstruating person and not get blood in your mouth if you focus your attention on external stimulation, whether it’s on the clitoris, the mons pubis, or elsewhere.
As for limiting any potential mess, she says, “Try doing the act on dark color sheets or towels, or use latex or non-latex gloves if there happens to be some fingering going on.”
But overall, Hall says it’s important to “normalize people engaging in their fetishes and kinks of choice instead of having a knee-jerk reaction” that something is “gross” or “weird.” The shame perpetuated by judgment can create dangerous circumstances, she cautions.
“When we shame people, that’s how our activities become unsafe. We do them secretly, we don’t want to talk to our healthcare providers about them, we don’t want to go get tested,” she says. “If we’re open to more variations of sexual behavior, we can be safer.”
If you don’t want to try the rainbow kiss, that’s also totally fine. However, Hall emphasizes the importance of not yucking anybody else’s yum. “As long as no one is being harmed, everyone is giving their consent, there are no children involved, there are no animals involved, then do you,” she says. “Do what makes you happy.”
And if a rainbow kiss doesn’t make it onto your sexual bucket list, at least now all those viral TikToks should make a little more sense.
