If penetrative sex isn’t giving you the kind of toe-curling orgasms you crave, trust, it’s not just you. “More than 80 percent of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone,” says sex expert and coach Niki Davis-Fainbloom. Luckily, there are plenty of other positions to help you orgasm, and one thing they all have in common is—drumroll please—increased stimulation.
Positions that prioritize the clitoris, where you can grind against your partner or hit angles that touch deep internal spots of the vagina, can be very effective. “Get creative by involving all parts of the vulva,” says sex-positive therapist Nikki Coleman, PhD. “Think about stimulating the entrance to the vagina, the top of the vaginal mound, and the lips.”
If that’s not doing it for you, take your time with foreplay, including manual stimulation and oral sex, says Davis-Fainbloom. If you’re craving a sex toy to orgasm, don’t be afraid to bring one out. “They're not competition for your partner,” says queer sex educator Sarah Riccio, co-founder of Delicto. “If holding a vibrating wand against your clit while your partner penetrates you is how you like to climax, do it!”
Remember to prioritize open communication at every opportunity. Your partner wants to hear about your desires, so don’t be afraid to voice them along with your fantasies and kinks. Because when you get the kind of mental and physical stimulation that truly does it for you, you get to experience the most intimate thing you can with a partner—letting yourself fall into the brave, amazing, intense space of truly surrendering into an orgasm with them.
Here are 20 sex positions specifically designed to get you there.
1. Flipped Missionary
How to Do It: The giver lies on their back with their legs spread about hip length. The receiver lies on top of them with their legs between their partner’s and holding their upper body up with their elbows or hands. It’s like missionary, but with the giver and receiver trading places.
Pros: Lots of clit stim for a penetrative position because the receiver can angle themselves so they’re grinding against their partner’s public bone and the top of their partner’s penis or strap-on.
Cons: The friction might not be enough clit stim for some. Try a penis ring or wearable couples toy.
Switch It Up: The receiver can press their legs tightly together for a tighter feel.
Make It Hotter: Want to try for multiple orgasms? After the first, just stay in the position, kissing and talking until both feel ready for more.
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2. Pillow Missionary
How to Do It: Consider this an elevated (literally) version of regular missionary. Add a pillow or sex wedge under the receiver’s hips and behold the difference it makes.
Pros: A pillow or sex wedge can be a game changer for missionary because it can better position a penis or strap-on to hit the sensitive upper wall of the vagina.
Cons: A sex wedge can be pricey. See if a stack of firm pillows works first.
Switch It Up: If you have the wedge/pillows out, give oral with it a spin.
Make It Hotter: A large dollop of arousal gel between your bodies can make everything feel just… more.
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3. Grinding Missionary
How to Do It: The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) is the gold standard for maximum clit stim with penetration alone. You start in missionary, but the giver shifts their body upward so the receiver can grind against their public bone. “Rather than the emphasis being on thrusting in and out, the movement is more sensual and intense," says Coleman. "The penetrating partner goes as deep as possible while putting pressure/weight on the vaginal mound (top of the vulva) and focuses on undulating the hips.”
Pros: This is missionary done right, says Coleman. It’s super intimate, plus the extra inherent clit stimulation could be the thing that puts the receiver over the top.
Cons: It might not work for everyone, and that’s okay! It should still feel good and act as a great way to connect during sex. Do it for a bit, then switch to something more orgasmic.
Switch It Up: Add more intensity with a vibrating penis ring.
Make It Hotter: Try the outercourse version of this move. You and your partner lube up and grind against each other, sans penetration.
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4. Cross Fit
How to Do It: To pull this one off, the receiving partner lays on their side with their bottom leg straight or slightly bent, and their top leg bent at a 90-degree angle at the hip. "The penetrating partner enters perpendicular to the top bent leg,” says Coleman, and kneels or sits back on their heels.
Pros: “This allows for deep stimulation of the vagina, and the receiving partner can easily access their clit with their fingers or a toy assist,” she says.
Cons: It may be hard for the receiver to keep that leg lifted. Try resting it on the giver’s chest or just putting it wherever it feels comfortable.
Switch It Up: You can have the giver enter from behind the receiver, or in front. Whatever’s more comfortable.
Make It Hotter: The person on the bottom can put their leg down, as in the picture, and their partner can enter anally.
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5. Kivinlingus
How to Do It: Make oral feel completely different with the Kivin method. “Instead of face-on oral, this is sideways oral. The vulva owner lies flat on their back while the giving partner lays perpendicular to their partner,” says Coleman. The giver’s lips are on either side of the clit so they can sweep their mouth side-to-side.
Pros: “This allows greater access to the full vulva, side-to-side clitoral access, and greater dexterity of the mouth, lips, and tongue,” says Coleman.
Cons: It can get crampy for the giver. Go ahead and switch sides. (Bonus tip: Some vulvas are more sensitive on one side!)
Switch It Up: Experiment with a little of this on a penis, too. The giver can run their lips and tongue up the shaft, take the head into their cheek, and gently suck on the balls going in from the side.
Make It Hotter: Add some flavor (literally) with an edible lube.
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6. The Sit, Doggy
How to Do It: For a seated version of doggy, the giver sits, either with their feet out in front of them or kneeling and sitting back on their feet. The receiver kneels and sits on their partner’s lap, facing away.
Pros: “It’s great if you love stimulation of your internal hot spots or cervical stimulation, and it gives you more physical closeness as your back rests against your partner's chest,” says Sarah Melancon, PhD, sociologist and clinical sexologist at Sex Toy Collective.
Cons: The deep penetration can be painful for some receivers. Go slowly, use a ton of lube, and make sure everyone is aroused. If it’s too much, back off.
Switch It Up: The receiver can lift themselves up so they’re hovering over their partner instead of sitting for harder, faster thrusting.
Make It Hotter: “You or your partner can also touch your clitoris with your fingers or a vibrator” she says. “Plus, it allows your partner to nibble on your ear or neck and whisper dirty thoughts into your ear.”
7. The Dog Toy
How to Do It: For classic doggy style, the receiver gets on their hands and knees. The giver kneels behind to enter.
Pros: “Doggy style is good for a lot of reasons, including internal stimulation, if that’s your thing. But for us clit folks, it creates plenty of space to reach your clit with a hand or a favorite vibrator,” says sex expert Kayla Lords, writer for Women’s Health Interactive.
Cons: “If your doggy style sex is fast-paced or rough, kinky fun, it may be more difficult to hold onto a larger toy. Finger vibrators, especially those with loops designed to fit around your finger, are a great option because they’re essentially an extension of your hand. So, as you’re being pounded as hard as you like, you only have to keep your hand in position and not worry about also holding a large vibrator,” she says.
Switch It Up: Try for different angles by putting your head down all the way on a pillow, pressing your legs together, spreading them farther, and/or arching your back.
Make It Hotter: For even more clit stim, straddle a large sex wedge or a stack of firm pillows and prop a powerful vibe on top.
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8. The Tense and Release
How to Do It: The receiver lies on their back comfortably. The giver uses their fingers, their mouth, toys—whatever turns the receiver on the most and bring them just to the brink of orgasm, then stopping just before. Repeat until the receiver just can't take it anymore, then finally lets themself explode.
Pros: There's nothing like being so turned on you can't see straight. A good way to get there is through edging. Once you get maximally aroused, you won’t have the bandwidth to think about anything but how much you need to cum.
Cons: Edging can go from delightfully frustrating to annoyingly so. Make sure the receiver has a way to convey to their partner that they need to stop the edging and start the orgasm.
Switch It Up: Try cycling through methods. Start with fingers only, then oral, then a toy.
Make It Hotter: Be super vocal with each other so you can both hear how turned on you are.
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9. The Power Shower
How to Do It: Stand facing each other. The receiver can prop a leg up on the side of the tub or shower bench for a better angle. And if it’s not quite getting the receiver there, put down the detachable shower head and make it earn its keep. You can direct the stream on or near the clit and feel the glory that is shower masturbation.
Pros: A stream of water is a surprisingly great sex toy. (They actually make detachable shower heads specifically for this! Womanizer makes one with clit specific settings, but it looks like—and works as—an innocent shower head.)
Cons: The wrong water temperature can be uncomfortable or actually burn, in some cases. Test on your wrists before applying to any tender areas.
Switch It Up: Try it solo!
Make It Hotter: Hand your partner the showerhead, lean back against the shower wall, and let them ravish you with water.
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10. The Watch and Learn
How to Do It: If you can orgasm on your own but have trouble with another person, try taking matters into your own hands. Sit back comfortably facing your partner and masturbate with a toy or your hand while your partner watches.
Pros: Hot, intimate, and you'll get exactly the kind of sensation you like.
Cons: This can feel very vulnerable. If it makes you feel braver, go ahead and close your eyes.
Switch It Up:Face each other and touch yourselves at the same time. Your rising passion will inflame each other further.
Make It Hotter: Get a remote-controlled toy and hand your partner the remote.
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11. The Face Time
How to Do It: Take the ultimate power stance with queening, aka face-sitting. “Straddle and ride your partner's face,”. "As you straddle and ride your partner’s face, pull their head forward,” suggests sex therapist Ruby Bouie Johnson, LCSW, LCDC.
Pros: “This position lets you move your pelvis or your partner's tongue into the necessary position for pleasure,” she says.
Cons: In some cases, the person on the bottom could feel claustrophobic or a little smothered. Make sure they have a safe word (or safe sound if their mouth is getting a little mushed), and that the face-sitting is more of a face-hover.
Switch It Up: Experiment with different positions, like a version where the queen is standing and her subject is kneeling before her.
Make It Hotter: Play with the inherent Dom/sub dynamics. The queen can be bossy, have an attitude, and take their pleasure exactly as they want it.
12. The Titillation and Restraint
How to Do It: If you're into it (and if you really trust your partner), Johnson suggests using a four-point restraint to let them tie you down to the bed, blindfold you, and use their "fingers and mouth to stimulate and tease your nipples, inner thigh, labia minora (around the clitoral hood), neck, and lips."
Pros: Being submissive can help many people get out of their heads and focus purely on sensation.
Cons: If it’s casual between you and your sex partner, skip this one. Make sure you know your partner well and have talked about limits, expectations, and safety.
Switch It Up: You can give your partner the same treatment. It can be especially interesting if you’re going against your usual roles.
Make It Hotter: Add edging. "This can help keep you in suspense, anticipation, and on the brink of climax for an extended period of time, which can create an explosive orgasm when one allows or is ready for it to happen,” says Johnson.
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13. The SITuationship
How to Do It: The giver gets on their knees, and the receiver straddles their partner’s legs, facing them. The receiver uses their feet as leverage to move.
Pros: Very intimate, plus the receiver can grind and move as needed.
Cons: One or both of you might get leg cramps. If that’s the case for you, this also works with the giver sitting on a chair and the receiver squatting above.
Switch It Up: Use a free hand to hold a clitoral vibrator.
Make It Hotter: Focus on each other, your connection, and how good it all feels. “The best way to get to orgasm is to remove orgasm as the goal,” suggests Lexx Brown-James, LMFT, CSE, CSES, author of The Black Girls' Guide to Couple's Intimacy. The penis- or strap-on-owner is on their knees, so there's more comfort for all.
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14. The Peace Out
How to Do It: The receiver sits on a chair, sofa, or on the edge of the bed. The giver kneels between their legs. The giver puts two fingers on either side of the receiver’s clitoris, scissoring their fingers together while gently licking or sucking the tip of the clit, says relationship expert Laurel Steinberg, PhD, a professor of sexology.
Pros: “This allows for maximal stimulation to the clitoris, both the sides and the head at the same time,” she says.
Cons: Some people feel guilty about taking “too long” to orgasm. For one, there is no such thing as too long. It’ll take as long as it takes. But...if you want to get to a grand finale more quickly, switch to your own hand or a toy.
Switch It Up: The giver can vary the sensation by using a gentle suction on the clit while shaking their head side-to-side.
Make It Hotter: Internal stimulation can help put this over the edge. Add an internal toy that can stay in place.
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15. The Banana Split
How to Do It: The receiver lies face down, resting their weight on their knees and forearms with their hips up in the air. The receiver kneels behind to enter.
Pros: Deep penetration and the giver can spank or kneed their receiver’s butt—or at least gaze upon its glory.
Cons: No inherent clit stim. Propping a vibrator under the receiver can fix that right up.
Switch It Up: The receiver can lie atop a vibrator and add a butt plug for stimulation all over the place.
Make It Hotter: Explore a double penetration fantasy by trying anal coupled with a dildo vaginally, or vice versa. (Do not mix n’ match holes, though!)
16. The Backward Swoon
How to Do It: The receiver lies on their back and drapes their legs over the giver’s lap. The giver thrusts and the receiver can add whatever clit stimulation they want.
Pros: This positioning is excellent for leaving the external part of their receiver’s clit exposed and ready to be stroked with a finger or toy, says Steinberg.
Cons: Could be uncomfortable for either person. A positioning pillow or two can help.
Switch It Up: Try a non-verbal version. Don’t say anything, just communicate through moans and sighs.
Make It Hotter: The receiver can control their own pleasuring by putting their feet on the ground and thrusting up while the giver keeps still.
17. The Couch Spoon
How to Do It: Think: Spooning, but take it deeper and hotter by moving the party to the couch. The receiver hooks their top leg over the top of the cushions for more clit access.
Pros: It allows your bodies to be close and generate warmth and intimacy, says licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist Rachel Needle, PsyD. It also gives the receiver plenty of space to add clit stim.
Cons: The couch might not be big enough for two. Try it on a bed using a backboard or stack of pillows as a substitute for the couch back.
Switch It Up: The receiver can put their hand over their partner’s and guide it to touch them exactly how they want it.
Make It Hotter: The receiver can let their partner thrust and rub them while they just lie back and enjoy.
18. The Armchair Traveler
How to Do It: For another good couch position, the receiver bends over and holds onto the couch's arm while the giver enters from behind.
Pros: This angle is great for deep penetration and allows the giver the chance to hold a vibrator to the receiver’s clitoris, says Needle.
Cons: Your heights might not quite line up well for this one. If that’s the case for you, the giver can bend their knees or try it another way, such as having the receiver lie on a table.
Switch It Up: If the receiver wants to take control, they can have their partner stay still while they thrust backward into them, using the couch arm for leverage while they thrust.
Make It Hotter: The receiver can also go prop a vibe on the arm chair, then straddle the arm and the vibrator.
19. The Lap of Luxury
How to Do It: The giver sits in a chair. The receiver climbs on their partner’s lap, facing them. Both partners hold each other while the receiver thrusts and grinds against the giver.
Pros: If you’re the receiver, being on top has loads of benefits. “You have more control over the speed, angle, and intensity, so it makes it easier to keep a rhythm that’s really doing it for you. Your vulva and clitoris are also very accessible,” says sexpert Layla Martin, author of Wild Woman in the Bedroom.
Cons: If one or both of your need hard and fast thrusting to orgasm, this might not do it for you. The receiver can get on their feet and squat, and the giver can thrust up if you want more force.
Switch It Up:For a non-penetrative version, fill your hands with lube and stroke each other while you kiss and hold each other.
Make It Hotter: If the receiver is a little shy about self-stimulation, they can always flip around, so they don't have to make eye contact.
20. The Supercharged Spread
How to Do It: A vibrator can help with any performance anxiety—it’s hard to think about anything else when you’ve got a turbo-charged sex machine between your legs. The receiver lies on their back with their feet in the air. The giver stands to enter. The giver holds the receiver’s ankles—pressing them close for a tighter-feeling fit as they penetrate, while the receiver holds a vibrator to their clitoris.
Pros: Both the clitoris and vulva contain nerve endings that are particularly responsive to vibration, so if hand stimulation isn’t quite enough to get to you there, that trusty vibrator ought to do the trick, says Carol Queen, staff sexologist at Good Vibes
Cons: Not every vibrator works for everyone. Figure out what you like—gentle buzzing? deep rumbles?—and give a few a test drive until you find The One.
Switch It Up: The receiver can hand their partner the vibrator and let them guide the pleasure.
Make It Hotter: Add an extra pitch of excitement with a set of nipple clamps.
