It has come to my attention that a new horny vampire movie has entered the zeitgeist, and that this one is a lot less Twilight and a lot more, well, “spit in my mouth.” I am, of course, talking about Sinners, and what has quickly gained both virality and infamy online as “the spit scene.”
For the uninitiated, here’s a brief rundown. In the middle of a steamy sex scene, Mary (Hailee Steinfeld) straddles Stack (Michael B. Jordan) and slowly, deliberately drips a whole lotta spit into his mouth. It’s undeniably erotic, but it’s also proven divisive, with some declaring it one of the sexiest moments to grace the silver screen so far this year and others finding it somewhat...disturbing.
Naturally, this discrepancy has bred a bit of discourse of its own, with the spit scene becoming a kind of temperature check re: how much kink we can handle as a society.
“Lesser-known kinks such as spit play can be socially divisive, with some viewers finding this scene intimate and erotic and others feeling disgusted or offended,” says Lelo sexpert and certified sex therapist Casey Tanner. “Because the scene moves slowly, audiences are forced to really sit with their reaction to this kink, and understandably want to process it with others.”
Whichever type of way this cinematic spiticident had you feeling is perfectly fine, by the way—to each their own! But seeing as we’ve all got spit on the brain, now seems like a good time to talk about spit kinks, no?
What Is Spit Play?
“A spit kink (sometimes called saliva play or spit play) is when the exchange of saliva is eroticized and incorporated into someone’s experience of sex and/or sexuality,” Tanner explains. “Someone with a spit kink might become aroused from giving someone else their spit (e.g. spitting into a partner’s mouth or onto their body), receiving someone else’s spit, or both.”
Tanner adds that other spit play activities may include deliberately kissing with extra saliva, transferring saliva into a partner’s mouth, using saliva as lube, or really any other deliberately erotic way you can think of to bring spit into sex.
But while spit is obviously the focal point of this kink, it’s not all about the spit itself. Tanner notes that spit play often incorporates dominant and submissive dynamics, and tends to overlap with partners taking on Dom/sub roles. For example, a dominant partner spitting on their sub could be a form of degradation play, says Gigi Engle, certified sex educator for 3Fun. Alternatively, a Dom could command a sub to spit in their mouth.
Either way, “engaging in a spit kink involves a process of consent and clarifying the role of each partner in the kink,” says Tanner.
Why Are People Into Spit?
Whether or not spit is your thing sexually, it is a thing sexually—and a fairly common one at that. “Clinically, I can say it’s very common. I know this might come as a surprise to some, but people are into spitting,” says Engle, citing research from Justin Lehmiller’s book, Tell Me What You Want, which suggests roughly 43 percent of men and 35 percent of women have fantasized about spit during sex.
As for why? For one thing, even if you’re not into spit as a kink, chances are pretty high it still finds its way into most of your sexual encounters one way or another.
“Spit is an intimate bodily fluid, and just like with semen, ejaculate and vaginal secretions, sharing this fluid can feel like a bonding experience—a sign of trust,” says Tannner.
Why any given person may be into spit varies depending on the context in which the spitting takes place. “For example, if someone associates being spit on with being degraded or objectified, they might find it erotic to incorporate spit consensually into BDSM play,” Tanner explains. “If someone associates being spit on with marking authority, they might desire incorporating it into a dominant sexual persona.”
Meanwhile, Tanner adds that for some, the appeal may be in the taboo nature of the kink—something we’re seeing in action right now re: the shock value the Sinners spit scene has proven to wield.
And finally, beyond the psychological allure, “some may simply get off on the sensory experience of feeling a partner’s fluids in their mouth or on their body, or vice versa,” says Tanner. In short, some people just like spit!—to which I say, good for us!
