Hey, cutie. Just wanted to let you know that this story originally ran in our March issue, so if you like what you see, you should probably snag a hard copy ASAP. Bye!
The prostate, a walnut-size gland right below a penis-haver’s bladder, is one of the most erogenous zones on the worldwide pleasure map. And while its main “industry” is helping to produce semen, the trendy-chic reason to pay it a visit (through the rectum—no direct flights, bb!) is because it can feel really effing good for your partner. Like, oh-my-god-I-forgot-my-own-name good. Which means that even as a nonlocal, you can still be part of an explosive experience. After all, sex is at its most deeply satisfying when both parties feel new levels of pleasure.
Not for nothing, we also need novelty where we can get it right now, and this opens up so many erotic options: Next-level orgasms! Different power dynamics! New toys! Temperature play! So until real travel is a go, making this ~special occasion~ trip can fill ya both with happy memories. Bon voyage!
What to pack
Lube is to prostate action what sunscreen is to an island getaway: absolutely fucking necessary. You’ll be traveling through the anus (more on this later), which doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, so you need lots of lube. Oil- or silicone-based anal formulas are best, but make sure you’re not using them with any silicone toys or latex condoms/gloves,
as they can break down the material. There are also plenty of water-based anal lubes. Whatever you get, the thicker the formula, the better.
If you’ll be bringing along a toy, make sure it is curved specifically for prostate play and has a butthole-safe flared base or loop for easy removal. (We’re all trying to avoid trips to the ER right now, remember?) There are tons of prostate massagers that are specially designed to target the area, and different textures and functions = more sensation. Glass and steel toys can be heated or cooled for extra sensation (run them under cold water or warm them up with body heat). Icicles’ No. 46 toy (that’s it right under here) is made of glass, so it works with all kinds of lube. And any toy with vibration can help relax the area—and will feel good for both of you if kept in during P-in-V.
How to get there
You can take the scenic route and start off slow with a perineum massage (that’s the external spot between the testicles and anus) during a hand job or oral sex, suggests sexologist Megan Stubbs, EdD. Use your knuckles to press in and knead for maximum oh là là.
Once ready to bring the party inside, Stubbs says to use a well-lubed toy or finger to slowly penetrate the anus. Curved toys will give you a boost here, but if you’re going old-school, try to insert your finger(s) about two to four inches in, and flex them in a “come hither” motion toward your partner’s belly button (make sure to check in throughout to see how they’re doing!). If you feel two lobes (hence le walnut analogy), you’re there.
While some people can orgasm from prostate play alone, they’re more likely to get off when it’s combined with a hand job or oral, so don’t be afraid to multitask.
What to see when you arrive
If you’re feeling adventurous, you can try a little highly sensorial “prostate milking.” This stimulates the gland to produce fluid that combines with ejaculate to create a milky white liquid, explains Evan Goldstein, DO, founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical. Use your finger pad to slowly massage the prostate from left to right, starting from shallow in the anus, then getting deeper. Don’t stress if it’s not instant orgasm. It can take a few tries (especially if this is unexplored territory).
If you have time, try…
Pegging! Use a strap-on and get behind your partner for all the zhuzh of prostate play plus a switched-up power dynamic.
How to be a respectful guest
- Don't show up uninvited. Make sure you get clear consent before diving in.
- Do a pre-trip mani. Clip your nails, pls.
- Take your time with foreplay. New experiences call for care and attention.
- Don’t be a dick. Ideally, the receiver of anal play can try to poop beforehand to clear their bowels, but even still, you might come across some fecal matter. It happens! Treat your partner with the same comfort you’d like if it were *your* butthole.
Pros
- Incredibly powerful, thanks to dual motors
- Can be controlled via app
Cons
- Too bulky to use hands-free, per a few testers
Willing to shell out $$$ for some luxury? Then you need to check out the HUGO 2, which is legit considered royalty in the world of prostate play. It comes with 10 vibe settings, powerful dual motors, and app control so your partner can take the reins (though you can also upgrade to the HUGO 2 Remote for app *and* remote control).
- Material: Silicone and ABS plastic
- Insertable length: 2.8"
- Insertable diameter: 1.6"
- Run time: Up to 1 hour
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: "By far, this is the best product for those chasing the mythical Prostate Orgasm. Ranging just a few inches in length, some people may find this a bit shorter, but I found it to be just right. The vibrations are phenomenal, the strongest I've ever felt, and the patterns are pretty wild! 10/10, this one takes the cake."
Pros
- Great for prostate and perineum stim on a budget
- A good choice for beginners
Cons
- Some wish it came in a girthier option
An effective prostate massager that'll set you back less than $20? Sold. This tool from budget-friendly sex toy brand plusOne is made with body-safe silicone, and though it doesn't vibrate, it includes an external arm for easy handling, as well as a slim body and rounded head for easy insertion.
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 3.5"
- Insertable diameter: 1"
- Run time: N/A
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: "This massager has an effective shape and is comfortable even for long sessions. I'm impressed with the material quality, particularly for the price. It would nice if they offered a larger diameter massager in the future."
Pros
- Slim, flexible, and beginner-friendly
- Can be controlled via app or remote
Cons
- May be too small for more advanced folks
When it comes to hands-free prostate massagers, the We-Vibe Vector+ can’t be beat. Since it’s bendy and adjustable, you can get it to hit the P-spot *just* right—plus, it's waterproof and comes with 10 vibration patterns (which you can access by pressing a button on the included remote or through an app on your phone).
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 3.5"
- Insertable diameter: 1.1"
- Run time: Up to 2 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: “Better than expected. A new favorite toy! The instruction book is a little light on explanations, especially regarding the included remote but with a little experimentation, it’s easy to figure out how to control the device. Once you do, hold on to your horses. You’ll be walking funny afterward. And that’s a GOOD thing.”
Pros
- Non-intimidating in size
- Won't exceed 50 decibels on highest setting, so pretty quiet
Cons
- Not as powerful as some would like
Subtly curved to take the guesswork out of prostate stimulation, the BILLY 2 is specifically designed for prostate play—despite looking like it might be a vaginal vibe. This bb comes equipped with eight settings for you to explore, and the fact that it’s rechargeable and waterproof makes it great for shower or bath play.
- Material: Silicone and ABS plastic
- Insertable length: 3.9"
- Insertable diameter: 1.1"
- Run time: Up to 4 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: “This is one of my favorite prostate toys ever, and I have more than a few. Small enough to not require a warmup and powerful enough to get the job done. The shape is ergonomic for one and puts a partner in a great position to really have some fun and amp up the pleasure. I absolutely love it."
Pros
- Dual ends gives you many ways to play
- Impressive quality for the price
Cons
- Vibes are more buzzy than rumbly, per some reviewers
Packed with five different vibration settings (as well as dual motors with independently vibrating tips), this C-curve dildo is such a deal for a $40 toy. Thanks to the design, you can choose which end you insert and your depth of play—and according to testers, it's great for everything from anal to vaginal to clitoral stim.
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 6"
- Insertable diameter: 1.4"
- Run time: Up to 3 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: "This toy is amazing! I bought this vibrator after trying a number of massagers and toys for prostate play, some even quite pricey. Out of all my experiences, this vibrator got me to climax the quickest and easiest. The large end provided me with a nice, full sensation, and the arc allowed for an easy rocking motion that massages the prostate perfectly."
Pros
- Requires zero guesswork or manual adjustment
- Size is v approachable
Cons
- May be too small for more advanced folks
Aneros is known for making some of the best prostate massagers on the market, and the Helix Syn Trident is no exception. This weighted, super-smooth silicone toy is rounded for supes easy insertion and goes in about three-and-a-half inches deep. Side note: Those rounded nubs on either side are designed to hit the perineum and the acupressure point known as the Kundalini tab at the base of the tailbone.
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 3.6"
- Insertable diameter: 1"
- Run time: N/a
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: “This relatively small P-spot stimulator hits the right spot and stimulates the anal sphincter, anal walls, and perineum without requiring much movement or manual adjustment. You insert it and relax and it seamlessly moves toward the prostate as it induces wonderful sensations around the genitals. I’ve used a few different P-spot massagers and I must say this one in the best I’ve used.”
Pros
- Simulates a unique "come hither" motion in the head
- Can be controlled from 25 feet away
Cons
- Dual arms may not work with everyone's anatomy
This isn't your run-of-the-mill prostate vibe, y'all. Designed to move naturally with the constriction of your muscles, this device includes 10 powerful vibration settings in the base, as well as a "come hither" motion in the head that'll take you over the edge. Add in that smaller shaft for perineum stim and the separate remote control, and you've got this two-for-one powerhouse.
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 4"
- Insertable diameter: 1.1"
- Run time: Up to 1 hour
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: "The Playboy Pleasure Come Hither is the best anal toy I have ever purchased. I was a little skeptical at first due to previous purchases like this toy, but I can without a doubt say this tops them all."
Pros
- Girthy but still a good fit for beginners
- Allows you to hit *just* the right spot
Cons
- A lil noisy on the most powerful settings
If you want some stronger vibes up there, then you’ll be happy to know that this seven-mode probe vibrator is like a sexy sword for your butt. It’s a fab alternative to hands-free toys, and it also has a neat LED panel on the handle, so you can remember your go-to setting in a pinch. And yep, it’s waterproof, too.
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 4"
- Insertable diameter: 1.4"
- Run time: Up to 100 minutes
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: “I’ve used a few other prostate toys in the past (mainly the hands-free type) and thought I’d had a prostate orgasm—but this was something else! I’m sure if you’re exactly the right dimensions for the hands-free type you’d get this same experience, but if like me, you’re not the standard size, this really hits the spot. Buy it—you won’t regret it!”
Pros
- Provides simultaneous P-spot, perineum, and testicle stim
- Can also be used for vaginal play
Cons
- Potentially too girthy for beginners
Powerful and flexible with a perfectly arched shaft, this handy lil massager provides stimulation to the P-spot, perineum, and testicles with two motors and 10 different speeds and functions. Plus, it’s waterproof and remote-controlled up to 25 feet, so the possibilities are pretty much endless. Oh, and did we mention that it can even be used for vaginal stim??
- Material: Silicone and ABS plastic
- Insertable length: 4"
- Insertable diameter: 1.4"
- Run time: Up to 1.5 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: “Without a doubt, the most powerful and explosive orgasm I’ve ever had! I’d seen advertisements for prostate massage for a long time and finally decided to see what all the hype was about. The various vibration selections mean that you are guaranteed to find just the right sensation to put you over the edge. Game changer for solo or together action.”
Pros
- Rotating head adds whole new sensation
- Comes with a remote for hands-free control
Cons
- Suuuper noisy
For a lil rotating fun, you should try out the remote control High Roller from Lovehoney, which uses its rotating head to create circular stroking motion just where ya need it. It also boasts a girthy, curved shaft, a textured base to massage the perineum, and 10 different functions.
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 4.5"
- Insertable diameter: 1.4"
- Run time: Up to 1 hour
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: “Finally, after years of searching for the right toy! I’ve tried so many toys before finding this and have paid way more for some toys that don’t even come close to giving me a prostate orgasm. This thing got me there so fast I had to slow things down so I could savor it. You will not be disappointed! It’s a bit wide when you get to the base but worth the wait trying to get it in.”
Pros
- User-friendly and incredibly versatile
- "Come hither" motion takes it to the next level
Cons
- May be too bulky to use hands-free
Between the vibrating head, the curved tip that offers 10-function “come hither” massage motion, and the rocking base that provides just the right amount of pressure to the prostate, this remote-controlled, waterproof JimmyJane stimulator is an all-around winner. And FYI, this bb provides stim to the perineum, too, because ofc it does.
- Material: Silicone and ABS plastic
- Insertable length: 4.3"
- Insertable diameter: 1.4"
- Run time: Up to 45 minutes
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: “I wasn't sure what to expect from this, but I can say it's worth every cent. The vibration and pulse are really powerful. The perineum stimulation makes it way more pleasurable than I would have thought. The true gem of this is the 'come hither' feature. WOW, is all I can say."
Pros
- Easy to clean and can be used with all lube
- Dual-ended for ~options~
Cons
- Rigid steel may feel a bit too intense for some
This C-curve dildo isn't just easy on the eyes—it also really, really gets the job done. Handcrafted to hit ALL the right places, Njoy's Pure Wand features a 3-inch bulb on one end and 5.5-inch bulb on the other, so you can choose the size that's right for you. Between the ergonomic shape and cool, polished steel, you're in for a *very* good time with this bb.
- Material: Stainless steel
- Insertable length: 8"
- Insertable diameter: 1.5"
- Run time: N/a
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: "Y’all. Literally the best sex toy I’ve ever owned. I’m talking steady stream of G-spot orgasms. Also works great for anal and prostate massaging. Super easy to sterilize with toy cleaner, alcohol, or boiling. I’m telling everyone I know to get one."
Pros
- Great for temperature play
- Allows for deep, targeted P-spot stim
Cons
- May feel too rigid for some
A bit of an unconventional choice, this curved glass toy is here to help ya achieve deep P-spot penetration (and for very little $$$, too). It's made with shatter-proof borosilicate glass, which means it's great for temperature play, and it's also compatible with all lubricants, which is always a plus.
- Material: Borosilicate glass
- Insertable length: 5.5"
- Insertable diameter: 1.9"
- Run time: N/a
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: "This is exactly what I was hoping it would be: a way for more controlled and direct P-spot stimulation. I'll have to work up to the larger end, but the smaller end is amazing in its own right, and the larger end makes a great handle while using it. I have a few other prostate toys, and this has already provided a much more enjoyable experience because I have so much more control."
Pros
- Wildly powerful, according to reviewers
- Can be controlled from any distance
Cons
- Some wish battery lasted longer
In need of some long-distance sex toys? Then you’ll looooove this top-rated prostate vibrator from LOVENSE, which features power motors in each of its flexible arms and can be controlled from legit A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E. You’ll also love that it’s relatively quiet, waterproof, and rechargeable.
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 3.6"
- Insertable diameter: 1.4"
- Run time: Up to 100 minutes
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: “I have tried a LOT of different massagers over the years, but this takes the crown. Being able to adjust the position of the insertable end to target the prostate makes a HUGE difference. The customizability and the available patterns on the app make for the best stimulation I’ve ever received this way. This is my #1 now.”
Pros
- Provides next-level prostate stim
- Ideal for a deeper, more filling experience
Cons
- Can be a lil tricky to find the right position
This rechargeable prostate massager from Fun Factory is curved for seriously deep P-spot access, and the bulbous prostate portion is tapered for a comfortable fit and an *incredible* feeling of fullness. Even cooler? The curved end near the controls, which is designed to stimulate the perineum with five vibe settings.
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 5.5"
- Insertable diameter: 1.4"
- Run time: Up to 1.5 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: "Fantastic toy for backdoor adventures! It's got really strong vibes and definitely hits the spot! The first bulb is a bit floppy and a little tricky to get started. Once that's in, the next section slides into place without any difficulty. The girth isn't excessive or uncomfortable for me. Beginners should start with a traditional plug and graduate up to this model later."
Pros
- Wave motion tech is ideal for perineum stimulation
- Comes with two motors for double the power
Cons
- Some found it a lil too girthy
Yep, another luxurious LELO prostate massager, except this one comes with a tip that can move in a “come hither” motion. Plus, it’s got an impressive 12 vibe settings, and both nubs have motors to give you v powerful stimulation. Pricey? Yes. But well, welllll worth your coin, promise. (Pro tip: Don't wanna spend $200+? Get the original LOKI Wave instead.)
- Material: Silicone and ABS plastic
- Insertable length: 3.9"
- Insertable diameter: 1.5"
- Run time: Up to 2 hours
- Waterproof? Yes
Glowing Customer Review: "This is a brand-new type of sex toy for me and my wife. Hadn’t experimented with this type of play before, and it is amazing. Tons of variety in the settings, the battery lasts a long time, and it is easy to take care off. Orgasms are NEXT LEVEL! Definitely recommend it!"
Pros
- Two motors offer all-over stimulation
- Offers more length and girth than other options
Cons
- Not a great fit for beginners
With two powerful motors, four speed selections, a whopping 18 (!!) vibration patterns, and the largest Aneros profile for the fullest sensations, the Vice 2 provides some seriously next-level prostate stimulation—not to mention incredible stimulation to the anus as well. It’s made with silky-soft silicone and equipped with a convenient remote, and it has four-and-a-half inches of insertable length, so ya, you could say it’s worth the price.
- Material: Silicone
- Insertable length: 4.5"
- Insertable diameter: 1.3"
- Run time: Up to 2 hours
- Waterproof? No, only splashproof
Glowing Customer Review: “I like the original Vice but there were a few things I would like to have changed. The Vice 2 does just that. The dual motors offer an interesting feeling, with one motor up at the P-spot and the other down by the anus. Speaking of prostate, this toy does a better job of reaching it with its slight increase in length. I tend to sit a little higher, and the Vice 2 gets all the way up there.”
<h2><center>So...what’s the deal with prostate orgasms?<center><h2>
The prostate, or P-spot, is an erogenous zone accessed anally on a penis-having person that is sometimes colloquially referred to as the male G-spot (but don’t even get us started on that). Some people can orgasm through prostate milking alone, but paired with some penis stimulation, it can feel really, really good...or so we’re told.
As Francis explains, “We often have a very limited view of ourselves as sexual beings. We hyper-focus on genitals for pleasure and arousal and miss out on all of the juicy possibilities of our full bodies as sexual organs. We are covered in erogenous zones, and our skin is sensitive to all different types of touch, textures, and sensations. Incorporating new kinds of toys is one way to add exploration into your sex life and discover new sensations that you may enjoy.”
And don’t stress if your partner doesn’t seem *totally* into it right away. “There is for sure a steep learning [curve] to prostate massage,” Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD, a urologist at Orlando Health, tells Cosmo. Since the sphincter is naturally tight, it makes sense that someone might take a few tries to fully relax and get comfortable with the idea before it becomes pleasurable.
<h2><center>How do you find the prostate?<center><h2>
Finding the prostate is easier than you might think—no map required, bb. “The prostate is a small gland located at the base of the rectum and penis below the bladder,” says Donna Oriowo, PhD, LICSW, MEd, owner and lead therapist at AnnodRight. “Before you experiment with prostate massagers, it is important that you know where the prostate is and make sure that you have consent before you grab the massager to engage.”
Also, make sure you get lots of lube, as the anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, and you don’t want to hurt your partner, cause any tears, or make the experience anything but as pleasurable as possible. “Always read your ingredients list, and never put anything in any hole that isn’t safe to go in your mouth,” Francis suggests. “As a tip for your lube choice, think about what you might like to do in your butt play session. Silicone lube is long-lasting but can be hard to clean and can’t be used with silicone toys. Water-based lube is friendly for everyone, but you will need to reapply. Oil-based lubes give a lot of slip but, depending on the ingredients, can contain allergens and will absolutely stain your bedsheets.”
To find the prostate manually, you’ll want to feel for a “walnut” on the front side of their rectum. Then, using one or two fingers, fully extend your digits until you feel both sides of the prostate (the prostate has a left and right side, hence the walnut analogy). “If—after exploring stimulation of the sensitive opening from the outside—you’d like to try penetration, start small,” Francis says.
<h2><center>How to choose the best prostate massager<center><h2>
Not sure where to get started? Here are some tips on finding the prostate massager of your dreams:
Stick with body-safe materials
As with all sex toys, the material of your prostate massager matters, 'cause you def don't want to irritate your most intimate areas with a poorly-made toy. It's best to steer clear of toys made with PVC, as those tend to be more porous and pretty much impossible to fully sanitize (not to mention they may contain toxic chemicals called phthalates). Instead, look for toys made from non-porous, body-safe materials, such as silicone, glass, ABS plastic, or metal, depending the sensation you wanna experience.
Look for a flared base
You'll notice that many of the best prostate massagers include a wide handle at the base, and this isn't just an aesthetic choice. Beginners should look for massagers with a flared base to prevent the risk of the toy getting pulled into your anal canal and lodged inside—and tbh, it's not a bad idea for users of ALL experience levels to stick to toys with a flared base.
Consider the size
Not to state the obvious, but beginners should start with smaller, narrower prostate toys and work their way up rather than taking the plunge with a jumbo-sized massager. Look for toys that start narrow and gradually increase in size to make insertion less intimidating—and you can always go up in size as smaller toys become more comfortable.
<h2><center>Meet the experts<center><h2>
- Shadeen Francis, LMFT, CSTW, is a certified sex and relationship therapist based in Philadelphia.
- Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD, is a board-certified urologist and surgeon with Orlando Health Medical Group Urology.
- Donna Oriowo, PhD, LICSW, MEd, is the owner and lead therapist at AnnodRight.
<h2><center>Why trust 'Cosmo'?<center><h2>
Pleasure is hiiiighly diverse, and what rocks someone's world may not be powerful enough to thrill another person. That's why we rounded up a whole range of highly-rated prostate massagers, from gentle sex toys for beginners to seriously rumbly vibes that'll leave your legs quaking.
Here at Cosmo, we have v high standards when it comes to sex toy recs. Every one of our round-ups adheres to the 15 Percent Pledge and includes toys for all budgets and bodies. And you better believe we read those product reviews (and test many of the brands IRL) so you don't have to do it yourself.
