One of the many wonderful things about orgasms is that there are so many ways to have them—including, yes, your very own butt. That’s right. Colloquially known as an assgasm, an anal orgasm is absolutely a real thing.
“Simply put, an anal orgasm is an orgasm that occurs when stimulating the anus,” says licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, Dr. Laurie Mintz, a sexpert for Lelo. “This could be stimulation of the anal opening, which is dense with touch-sensitive nerve endings, or it could be by anal penetration.”
More great news? While some avenues to O-town are specific to body parts not everyone has—such as a clitoral orgasm or the infamous nipplegasm—pretty much everyone on God’s green earth has an asshole, which means the butt is an equal opportunity pleasure purveyor. Whether you’re all about anal or consider yourself more backdoor-curious, here’s everything to know about how to unlock the literally orgasmic potential of the anus—from what an anal orgasm really is to how to have one, according to the experts. (Because, yes, there are experts on such matters.) Welcome to anal orgasms 101.
What Is an Anal Orgasm?
“An anal orgasm is an orgasm that you have while being stimulated anally,” says Marla Renee Stewart, a sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer. This stimulation can include external play targeting the sensitive nerve endings around the opening of the anus via fingers, mouths, or toys, or penetrative anal sex acts by way of penises, pegging, fisting, dildos, butt plugs, etc. Basically, any kind of anal play can lead to an anal orgasm.
However! It’s worth noting that while we tend to refer to specific “kinds” of orgasms based on the primary body part that’s being stimulated when the O occurs (“nipple orgasm,” “clitoral orgasm,” “G-spot orgasm,” etc.), this is really kind of a misconception, says Mintz. That’s because—while experts are still debating whether orgasms that occur from different points of stimulation have differences—it’s generally believed that the actual, physical mechanism of orgasm is the same, regardless of what body part triggered it.
“No matter where the stimulation occurs (anus, breasts, vagina, clitoris), all orgasms involve erectile tissue in the genitals filling with blood and then being released with rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor,” says Mintz. “In short, in the words of the late Betty Dodson, ‘an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm.’”
That said, there’s really nothing wrong with dividing and labeling orgasmic experiences in this way. It only becomes potentially problematic when we start to see various “types” or “kinds” of orgasms as a list of goals to check off. ICYMI, goal-oriented sex can put a ton of pressure on everyone involved and distract you from actually enjoying all the pleasure there is to be experienced before the big O. “That is not to say that people should not experiment with what brings them pleasure—but that ‘types of orgasms’ shouldn’t be a checklist to achieve,” says Mintz.
Who Can Have an Anal Orgasm?
You know what they say about assholes (and opinions): everybody’s got one. Which means that pretty much everyone—regardless of gender or genitalia—has the potential to experience an anal orgasm. Congrats!
“People of any gender can experience pleasure and orgasm from anal stimulation,” says Mintz. That said, while anyone with a butt can access this pleasure potential via the oh-so-sensy nerve endings in and around the anus, different internal structures may come into play depending on what other body parts you happen to be working with in that area. For folks with prostates (typically men/AMAB people), prostate stimulation via the anus or perineum can be a big part of the anal orgasm experience. Meanwhile, because the internal legs of the clitoris extend all the way back to the anus, “vulva owners receive indirect internal stimulation of the clitoris during anal penetration, along with nerve endings sandwiched between the vaginal wall and rectum,” says sex podcaster and legal courtesan Luna Robbie. “With the right warm-up, it can lead to climax.”
That said, it’s important to note that just because everyone has the potential to reach orgasm via anal play does not mean that everyone will, notes sex educator Carly S. “The pleasure potential is there for all bodies, then you have to do the work and explore your own body and preferences to see if you enjoy it enough to add to your personal pleasure arsenal.”
Again, orgasms of any kind are not a goal to meet or a trick to pull off. If an anal orgasm proves elusive, there are plenty of other ways to get off.
What Does an Anal Orgasm Feel Like?
Well, it feels a lot like every other kind of orgasm. “With anal play, you'll experience a build-up of tension accompanied by an increase in heart rate and breathing,” explains Kait Scalisi, MPH, certified sex educator and founder of Passion by Kait. “During the experience of orgasm, there’s often a sensation of release as well as fluttering of the pelvic floor muscles.”
8 Tips for Having an Anal Orgasm
1. Get in the right mindset.
Just like any other sort of orgasm, getting out of your own head is key to achieving an anal orgasm.
Remember that you have power over your pleasure (and over your anus), so be conscious of how your anus is responding to your partner's touches and control the relaxation of your anal sphincter muscles by relaxing. “The more you can release the idea of your anus being a forbidden, dirty place, the easier it will be to relax into the pleasure of anal stimulation without shame,” says pleasure coach Tyomi Morgan..
2. Lube is your lifeline—and so essential!
Any sort of anal penetration will not be enjoyable without lubrication, period. “Lube is your best friend when exploring your backdoor. Your butt does not self lubricate, so using a good lubricant is always going to make things more comfortable and safer,” says Carly S. “Silicone is great if you’re not using toys, but a thick water-based lube will be compatible with everything and last longer than a thinner formula.”
3. Start by practicing with fingers and finger-sized toys.
When it comes to anal penetration, it’s best to start small. “Use fingers and toys that are ‘finger width’ to introduce stimulation to the anus,” suggests Morgan. “Sometimes friction on the opening of the anus can be enough to produce orgasms.
Massaging the anus with the tip of any finger (index or thumbs are typical) creates ease in being penetrated without the idea of having to receive the fullness of your partner's girth. More fingers can be added if you feel you're ready for more pressure.
4. Communicate with your partner.
Communication is the key to pretty much everything, and anal sex is no exception. “Be vocal about what you are feeling and what you need," says Morgan. As the person being penetrated, you should be communicating often since your partner can not feel what you are experiencing. So, if something feels uncomfortable, let it be known in a gentle way. “Make requests of your partner and be patient because anal penetration can take some time to get it right,” advises Morgan.
Morgan suggests saying things like “can you ease in more slowly please?” and insists that mustering the courage to be vocal about your desires is key in achieving orgasm. "The more you speak up and ask for what you need, the more empowered you will feel over your body,” she explains. “With empowerment comes liberation and the ability to RELAX into the decisions you’re making knowing that your safety is pleasure is being placed as a priority.”
5. Take deep breaths.
Even if you don’t think you hold your breath during sex, there’s still a pretty big chance you’re doing it. “Be aware of your breathing during your anal experience and remember to breathe deeply and send that breath down to your anus,” says Morgan.
Take deep breaths and allow your body to relax into the feeling of anal stimulation, without judgment. Observe how your anal sphincters become looser and more willing to allow your partner to enter. The more you breathe and relax into the stimulation, the easier it will become for you to reach orgasm, says Morgan.
6. Relax your anus.
“Being relaxed and warmed up is very important—and you cannot trick your body into being relaxed,” says Carly S. “Your butthole always knows the truth.”
Training your sphincters to relax is the key to anal pleasure. Your sphincters will naturally have the response of tightening as your partner penetrates deeper. When you feel that happening, breathe deeper, relax, and let it go. Anal plugs can assist with training your sphincters to relax, so don't be afraid to let go and experience your anal orgasm.
7. Combine anal with vaginal or penile stimulation.
As if anal orgasms weren’t great enough on their own, Scalisi says there’s a way to up your pleasure even more. “Put a butt plug or anal beads in during other forms of sex play, whether that's intercourse, oral sex, or hand play, and pull it out as the person experiences orgasm to double their pleasure,” she suggests. “That's because the pudendal nerve, which runs through the clitoris and tip of the penis, also has a branch that goes through through the anus. If the receiver has a prostate, look for a plug that is curved down to massage it.”
8. Be patient.
Reaching orgasmic levels of pleasure in a new way can take time! “Depending on your anatomy and the level of butt-related shame you’ve been exposed to, your anal orgasm timeline might look different from your partner’s or friend’s,” says Robbie. “For me, it took nine months of weekly-ish anal to experience an assgasm. Spending months building my own confidence through solo and partnered play led me to deeper relaxation and the deepest anal orgasms.”
Remember, there is no rush to the big anal finish line. Just relax and enjoy the ride.
