This story appears in the Spring 2026 issue of Cosmopolitan. Get the mag
A decade after words like “ghosting” and “situationship” joined our lexicon, we’re living in a golden age of internet dating lingo. Seemingly every day, a new term with a catchy name makes the TikTok rounds. Some of these viral expressions (“ghostlighting,” “zip-coding”) cover new experiences unique to modern dating, while others (“monkey-barring,” “avoidant discard”) are neologisms for phenomena that significantly predate Tinder.
Either way, this vocabulary serves an important societal function: It creates a shared language we can all use to talk about the sometimes joyful, often confusing, and frequently frustrating facets of looking for romantic connection. Some may be a bit more unhinged than others (looking at you, “Shrekking”), but they also do the heavy lifting of defining relatable experiences that could otherwise feel isolating, especially if you’re navigating them for the first time.
Ultimately, these words and phrases do what language has always done: give us the power to understand ourselves and bond with others. So here, for your edification, is a roundup of the ones you’ll need to wade through this year’s dating discourse with ease.
1. Chalance
The opposite of “nonchalance.” Used by daters to signal they’re seeking a partner who puts in effort and isn’t afraid to go all-in on a relationship, as opposed to someone obsessed with keeping things casual and coming off chill.
2. Ghostlighting
A portmanteau of “ghosting” and “gaslighting,” ghostlighting is when someone effectively ghosts/slow fades on you, only to randomly pop back up later and reinitiate conversation as if nothing happened, all while acting like you’re crazy if you call them out on it.
3. Sledging
A variant of cuffing, “sledging” refers to getting into a cuffing season relationship with the intention of breaking things off by spring. It’s generally considered a more toxic approach to cuffing season due to the fact that the other person—the one “getting sledged”—has likely not been made aware that this romance has an expiration date. The name itself comes from the act of dragging a literal “sledge” (AKA sled), through the snow, the implication being that the sledger is just dragging someone along/leading them on through the winter, with little to no intention of actually trying to forge a real relationship.
4. Friendfluence
2026 is the year we merge our social lives with our dating lives. Data from Tinder’s Year in Swipe report reveals that 42 percent of singles cite their friends as a major influence on their love life. Meanwhile, 37 percent of daters said they’re looking to go on double dates and group dates in the new year, and 34 percent revealed they look to their friends’ relationships as a source of hope for the future of their own love lives.
5. Zip-Coding
Can refer to either of two things: 1) Restricting your location range on dating apps to a very small radius and only dating people who live very close (i.e., within the same zip code as you); or 2) Having a location-dependent relationship in which you’re only “together” with someone when you’re in the same zip code and consider yourself single when you’re apart.
6. Monkey-Barring
When someone lays the groundwork for a new relationship before ending their current one. “Like dangling between two monkey bars, you’re still gripping one hand on your current partner while reaching out for someone new,” explains relationship expert Sabrina Bendory.
7. Shrekking
Dating someone you consider to be below your standards with the assumption that because you’re out of this person’s league, you’ll automatically have the upper hand in the relationship and be less likely to get hurt. To “get Shrekked” is to strategically “date down” in this manner, only to still wind up getting rejected or heartbroken by someone you
8. Golden Retriever Boyfriend
A male partner who embodies Golden Retriever energy. “He is loving, positive, energetic, loyal, and uncomplicated,” says matchmaker and dating coach Blaine Anderson. “He’s not playing games; he’s the overly nice and caring type who puts you before himself.”
9. Black Cat Boyfriend
“The mysterious, slightly moody counterpart to a golden retriever boyfriend,” explains relationship coach Amie Leadingham. Often independent, intellectual, and/or artsy, this man may seem cold and standoffish, but really he’s just affectionate on his own terms and selective with his romantic attention.
10. Black Cat Girlfriend
The female version of the Black Cat Boyfriend: a woman who mirrors the classic personality traits often associated with black cats—mysterious, independent, and selectively affectionate. Leadingham adds that Black Cat Girlfriends “value their alone time, tend to be more introverted, and have a slightly aloof yet intimidating quality about them that draws people in.”
11. The Avoidant Discard
A shady breakup maneuver in which someone distances themselves emotionally from a relationship without directly ending it, explains psychologist Morgan Anderson, PsyD. “It often looks like a gradual withdrawal—less communication, minimal effort, and a lack of presence in the relationship.”
