In an age where boyfriends are embarrassing and we’re using AI to get divorced, it feels almost mythical to consider what happens when the dating chapter of life ends and something steadier takes its place. Nothing has underlined this more than being an engaged girl in my 20s. My friends’ excitement is always laced with a twinge of fascination that this is something people still do and, truthfully, I’m right there with them. I made it my mission to find proof that there are, in fact, people who have fallen and stayed in love for 20, 30, or even 40 years. The kind of love where you have more memories together than apart and choose each other over and over again.
For anyone who also aspires to this kind of ride-or-die partnership, I’ve gathered some of the sweetest inspiration I could find to assure you that if you can dream it, you can do it. Below, eight long-term couples give us a peek inside their relationships and deliver expert wisdom that I, for one, will be soaking all the way up. Consider this your gentle reminder that lasting love exists (and that you’re not alone in wanting it).
Aki, 73 + Koichi, 74
Years together: 40
Where and how you met:
We met in Los Angeles through mutual friends. We were both born and raised in Japan, so it was comforting to have each other as friends in a new place. We were friends for 12 years before we started dating. —Koichi
Thoughts on Valentine’s Day, decades in:
It’s sweet, but love isn’t just one day. It’s what you do every day that matters more.
—Koichi
A small thing they do that makes you feel loved:
Making coffee. Asking if I’ve eaten. Small acts say a lot. —Aki
Thoughts on going to bed angry:
It happens. But we try not to let anger sit too long. Rest helps. —Koichi
The moment you realized you found the one:
There wasn’t a big moment. Just a quiet knowing that life felt better together. —Aki + Koichi
One thing young people don’t realize about making relationships last:
Love changes—and that’s okay. You grow, and your relationship grows with you. But it’s important to know who you are before committing to someone else. Don’t get lost in the other person. Have your own dreams and goals, and build upon each other’s. —Aki + Koichi
Sue, 79 + Geoff, 85
Years together: 30
Where and how you met:
After knowing each other as children, then going in different directions, we met again after 40 years via a dating agency. Essentially, we both signed up and did in-depth interviews, which the company used to pair us together (an old-fashioned Tinder or Hinge, haha!). —Geoff
A small thing they do that makes you feel loved:
Holding hands when we go shopping. —Sue
One way they’ve inspired you to be better:
Geoff has taught me to chill out more. —ue
Sue has taught me that there is always a solution and everything can be sorted. —Geoff
Your favorite thing to do together:
Travel, seeing the world especially on cruises. —Sue
Your advice for young couples who want to make sure their relationship stands the test of time:
Respect each other’s views, enjoy life, and laugh a lot. —Sue + Geoff
Cathy, 68 + Gevin, 68
Years together: 30
Where and how you met:
We were both working as campus security officers to put ourselves through school (Cathy’s bachelor’s, my master’s). We started seeing each other in 1996 and, about five years later, we ended up tying the knot. We were married at Linda Hamilton’s house and Linda Hamilton attended our wedding! —Gevin
Something that drives you crazy about them (in the best way):
Gevin is like the ever-ready bunny. When I get tired, I knock out. She just keeps on pushing and keeps on going and has some kind of remarkable strength that she pulls from. —Cathy
Cathy’s wit. We could be in the heat of an argument and, all of a sudden, she’ll say something that’s just over-the-top hilarious. Both of us will look at each other and burst into laughter. She’s smart as a whip. —Gevin
Thoughts on Valentine’s Day, decades in:
Not only do I decorate the house, but I decorate the front yard! I want to always celebrate the holiday of loving one another and sharing love with everyone. —Cathy
I’m not much of a decorator, but I get roped into decorating with Cathy. I do it because I love her and I love all of the things that she puts up. It makes everything magical. Our Valentine’s is honestly all year long—we just do fun stuff together. —Gevin
A small thing they do that makes you feel loved:
Cathy pets me all the time. If I sit next to her, she’s rubbing my shoulder, my back, giving me a hug. The other day, someone asked me, “Where’s home?” and I just said “Cathy.” —Gevin
When I’m rushing to get out to work, Gevin will pack my lunch for me. When it’s cold, she’ll also go out and start my car so it’s all warmed up when I get in it. —Cathy
One way they’ve inspired you to be better:
When I went back to college in my 40s and I had to do statistics, I just about tore my hair out (and Gevin’s as well). She made dinner and fed me while I persevered and cried through it. She’s always supported me through my roughest times. —Cathy
Cathy is so good about letting me be me, which has been a problem in my past relationships. I told her, “I’m a biker and I’m going to be out on my bike doing all of the things I want to do before I die.” Sometimes she comes with me, sometimes she does her own thing, but she always supports me and is in my corner. She’s made me a much happier, much more grounded person because I get to be who I am. —Gevin
The moment you realized you found the one:
There were times I pitched activities I wanted to do together—museums, orchid shows—fully expecting I’d get some pushback. But she’d surprise me and say, “If that’s what you want to do, we’ll pick a day and do it.” —Cathy
Rovie, 38 + Paolo, 41
Years together: 21
Where and how you met:
It was 2004. I was a freshman in a state university and he was a junior in a private university. We met through a common friend and, as cheesy as it sounds, it was love at first sight. Fast forward to 2026, we’ve been married for 12 years, together for 21 years, and have a child. —Rovie
Your favorite memory of your time together:
The Notebook. Our favorite memory was watching The Notebook at the cinema but not having understood the movie at all because that’s when we had our very first kiss! Today, we still don’t know what the movie is about, but it will always be our favorite movie ever. —Rovie
Thoughts on going to bed angry:
We’ve never gone to bed angry. When we have our arguments but we try to resolve them, even if it means going to sleep at 2 or 3 a.m. We believe that it is much better to sleep without harboring any negative emotions toward each other so that when we wake up, we are starting the day fresh and relieved. —Rovie + Paolo
Your advice for young couples who want to make sure their relationship stands the test of time:
Be each other’s best friends. We probably would not have lasted this long if we weren’t. We’ve invested in getting to know each other, learning each other’s goals, and working together to achieve those goals. When we met in college, we made sure that we helped each other pass our subjects so we could graduate. When we started working, we also helped each other perform in our jobs and achieve our career goals. We have never limited each other to what we can do or friendships we can foster. When one person struggles, we are ready to help the other out. —Rovie + Paolo
Andrea, 43, + Brandon, 47, + David, 44
Years together: 25 (Andrea + Brandon)
Years together: 6 (Andrea + David)
Where and how you met:
Brandon and I met when his band was playing at a bike shop that had metal shows at night. He’s a drummer. We got to talking and never stopped. We grew up in the same general area but different towns, so we didn’t previously know one another. —Andrea
Thoughts on Valentine’s Day, decades in:
Brandon and I have never really celebrated Valentine’s Day as a couple after our first year or two together. It’s not that we don’t do things together or don’t do nice things for one another, but it’s not a specific important day to us. It’s a regular day! We decided this together. —Andrea
The best gift your partner has ever given you:
One year, I jokingly talked about loving how my elementary school class would decorate a shoebox and put everyone’s Valentines inside. Brandon wrapped a shoebox in tissue paper, added NSYNC stickers for decoration, then put various Valentine’s Day cards inside. He even added random names of who they were all from to make it look like it came from my class. Now that I think about it, it’s even funnier because NSYNC wasn’t even a thing yet when I was in elementary school. —Andrea
A small thing they do that makes you feel loved:
Brandon volunteers a short back rub for me nearly every day. —Andrea
The moment you realized you found the one:
This question makes me laugh considering Brandon and I have never had a monogamous relationship with one another (Brandon is my husband and I have another husband named David. David and I have been together 6 years and got married last fall). I believe we are all drawn to different people in our lives and for various reasons. Brandon is one of my people. To me, no one will ever be “the one” as it goes against how I view all different types of relationships, including friendships. —Andrea
Your advice for young couples who want to make sure their relationship stands the test of time:
Don’t pressure yourselves to fit your relationship into a box of what you think it’s supposed to look like. Also, acknowledge that your relationship may end at any time and for any reason. I think this helps with finding security in relationships—knowing that your partner is with you because they are choosing to be and not because they feel the need to make it last. I know that may be unconventional advice, but we’re firm believers in it. —Andrea
Colin, 53 + Shaun, 61
Years together: 34
Where and how you met:
I met Shaun when I was 19, and the first moment was pure chaos. At the time, I was dating a guy in Leeds who I thought was single. He wasn’t. One afternoon, right in the city centre, a stranger appeared, looked straight at him, pointed at me and said, “Who is this?” I realized instantly that I was the other person in someone else’s relationship. Mortified, panicked, and very young, I made my excuses and disappeared as fast as I could. Shaun ended things with the boyfriend who had lied to us both. After that, I started seeing Shaun everywhere. Thirty-three years later, we’re still here. And it all started with a question, in the middle of Leeds, that changed everything. —Colin
Your favorite memory of your time together:
Getting married at Ardross Castle in the Scottish Highlands, famous as being The Traitors’ castle. We’d already been together since 1992, but we chose to marry in 2024, and it felt deeply intentional. We had the castle for the entire weekend, surrounded by close family, friends, and people who’ve followed our life through YouTube. Everyone stayed together, ate together, celebrated together. It didn’t feel like a single day; it felt like a shared chapter. After decades together, choosing each other again like that was incredibly moving. —Colin + Shaun
When to compromise and when to stand your ground:
Compromise on preferences, habits, and logistics. Stand your ground on values, respect, and how you expect to be treated. Knowing the difference takes time, but it’s essential. —Colin
One thing young people don’t realize about making relationships last:
That your partner doesn’t live in your world, they live in theirs. Long-term love isn’t about changing someone to see things your way; it’s about choosing to understand their perspective and deciding you’d rather share their world than lose them from yours. —Colin
Rita, 64 + Theo, 66
Years together: 45
Where and how you met:
We met in the neighborhood. We lived about five houses down from each other. He stopped me, asked for my number, and I gave it to him. —Rita
Your favorite memory of your time together:
When I introduced her to my uncle and his wife. They had a grocery store in New Orleans. —Theo
I felt proud because his uncle fell in love with me at first sight. It’s like he knew I was the one for his nephew. —Rita
Thoughts on Valentine’s Day, decades in:
It’s still a priority—not just because it’s also our anniversary, but it’s a special day to be romantic.— Rita
A small thing they do that makes you feel loved:
Holding hands and always opening the car door. —Rita
Preparing healthy meals. —Theo
When to compromise and when to stand your ground:
Compromise when both parties agree to disagree but still make it work and be fair. Stand your ground when you know the choice can possibly lead to destruction and not just affect one person but the union itself. —Rita
The best way to settle an argument:
Listen to understand. That means not thinking about what you will say next. It’s not a competition. This requires teamwork. —Rita
Heidi, 51 + Ryan, 52
Years together: 33
Where and how you met:
I was home (Spokane, WA) from my freshman year at University of Washington for the summer and went back to work at Red Robin, where I’d worked before heading to school. Heidi had started working there while I was at school and I was surprised to see a new girl. Turns out, we lived about three miles apart and I followed her into work one day. Heidi remembers me coming up and asking her if there was anything fun to do in Spokane, which is funny, because I had lived there for four years. Our first date was at The Firm and things went from there. —Ryan
Something that drives you crazy about them (in the best way):
When he comes home from work and needs to do all the dishes before we cook dinner. When he must listen to all the “New Music Friday “ songs on Spotify before he can start his Friday, when he forces me to slow down and see the world around me. The way he just knows we will be okay always (somehow have an abundance of resources when we really have so little now). —Heidi
She’s got this almost arrogant, bold thing that comes up from time to time. It’s just like “what? This is what I’m doing. I don’t care.” After getting over my initial WTF, I’m enamored with how badass it is. —Ryan
What they look like in your head when you picture them:
That’s such a good question and a weird one and really got me thinking. But I honestly think I picture her as she is. Just glowing and smiling. As she’s always been. —Ryan
Like this cute boy I met. Still. With his hat on backward, acting mildly rebellious and having a strong mind. So, so cute to this day and honestly still the same in all those ways. —Heidi
The moment you realized you found the one:
It’s a bit ridiculous. We were 19 years old but we said after two weeks that we loved each other and we were talking about getting married. It was so fast. We knew it was too fast and we said we couldn’t tell anyone that we were thinking that way. —Ryan
One thing young people don’t realize about making relationships last:
It’s not exhausting or all this hard work, ball and chain, blah blah. It’s evolving, listening, respecting, and having fun. We can only talk about our relationship, but we’ve never been big fans of finding someone and making it work as much as finding someone with whom it just does work. Set your expectations high. And find someone who meets them. And there’s probably some luck involved. Be okay with that. TLDR: You gotta BE that person. We read years ago that being a good parent isn’t about doing the right thing or saying the right thing. It’s about being. Kids see through all the shit. So do partners. No formulas, no magic lists. BE who you want to be and find someone else doing the same. —Ryan + Heidi
