Is It Just Us? Or Are the Single Cat Ladies Happier?

They’re everywhere. Year by year, the population of happily single, never-married, and not-particularly-pressed-to-be women expands rapidly. A Morgan Stanley study predicts that by 2030, 45 percent of women ages 25 to 44 will be single. A Pew Research Center report found that only 34 percent of single women in the U.S. are actively seeking romantic relationships and that almost half of American women say marriage isn’t essential to a fulfilling life. Meanwhile, high school–aged girls are now, statistically, significantly less interested in marriage than they were 30 years ago. It’s been decades since a woman’s access to capital and property depended on marriage. But in recent years, it’s become clear that our relationship status bears less weight on our social stock, too. And thus, age-old insults and epithets threatening “spinsterhood” just don’t carry the same weight they used to.

Every version of the “lonely single cat lady” dig has almost entirely lost its belittling punch: “the lesbian cat lady,” “the crazy cat lady,” “the old cat lady,” even “the childless cat lady,” a stereotype that now-Vice President JD Vance leaned on during the 2024 presidential campaign to disparage Democratic leaders who dared to never to bear children. After all, is it not sadder and lonelier to settle for a relationship that depletes your time and energy out of fear? There is power in investing your attention elsewhere and choosing to pour your love into an animal that won’t embarrass you or take advantage of your domestic labor—an animal known to be far more discerning about whom it delegates its affection and loyalty to, no less (Emily Brontë famously once described cats as an “animal who has more human feelings than almost any other being.”). Not only has female singlehood become more socially acceptable, but it has also been deemed worthy of romanticization. The same stereotypes once wielded to call women’s worth into question are now heralded as aspirational. (Parse through the many “single cat lady” moodboard images on Pinterest.) Single celebrities like Tracee Ellis Ross are regularly celebrated for their independent lifestyles, and last year, the passing of actor Diane Keaton was marked with several viral loving remembrances that lauded her for never marrying.

The shift from insult to inspiration comes down to choice. What you’ll find when talking to single women, especially those who are decidedly “not looking for a relationship right now”—and even more so those willing to be photographed and branded as single by a national media publication—is a deep respect for personal agency. Yet still, the concept of choice was what the 13 proud single cat ladies we spoke to cited as the most commonly misunderstood aspect of their relationship status. Despite the growing disinterest in life without a partner, too frequently, their decision to stay solo—prioritizing career, friendships, family, or pets, and more specifically, cats—is treated not as an intentional decision but as a consequence, a supposed result of dwindling desirability, dating-app fatigue, a manosphere-driven scarcity of like-minded romantic options, or the rise of the multipurpose buzzword heterofatalism (defined as the belief that all heterosexual relationships are unsatisfactory and doomed to fail).

That’s not to say these cultural forces play no role. But that sort of pathologization can overshadow the agency that roots their decision. And what these women—steadfast in their loyalty to choice—insist is that their personal decisions supersede such externalities. Their time and emotional energy are theirs to allocate, and they can choose to pour them entirely into whatever they so wish, including their beloved cats.

“For women to feel mandated to fulfill their normative gender roles and for marriage to be attractive, it must satisfy social and psychological needs beyond the sexual and structural functions,” says Kimberly Martinez Phillips, PhD, a visiting scholar at the Centre for Feminist Research at York University. “The rise in single women can be attributed to a higher level of independence and expanded freedoms that feminism has helped produce,” she explains. “So women are reframing singlehood as a legitimate choice in opposition to marriage and not as a character flaw.”

At the risk of making sweeping generalizations that overlook the emotional and situational nuances shaping every individual’s relationship status, no, not every single cat lady is happier than every person who’s found honest, fulfilling love. There is no universal measure of joy. But if your idea of true happiness is determined by the level of understanding and gentle companionship someone has in their life, we’d argue that the single cat ladies have found it.

Occupation: Actor

Social handles: @thejinkx, @jinkxmonsoonofficial

Cat’s breed: Ragdoll and Maine coon mix

When and how did you adopt your cat? When she was almost 2 months old. A fellow practicing witch was fostering Myrtle’s litter when I posted that I was looking for a cat. Her foster mom reached out, and I adopted her through the Emerald City Pet Rescue.

Best part of being a cat owner? Waking up next to your purring cat

How long have you been single? A little over 2 years

Most tired cliché about single women? That we’re unhappy being single

What do you cherish most about being single? Going to bed whenever I want without anyone commenting on it.

Do women thrive single? I think women thrive. Single, married, partnered, poly—we persist, and we thrive.

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? It’s zero pretense with her. She's very direct and communicative. Every meow is a message.

What would your cat warn a potential partner about you? She doesn’t do well with too much free time.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Mushroom chocolates and a surrealist film. Maybe sushi. Myrtle likes sashimi.

Occupation: Podcaster

Social handle(s): @Briannalapaglia

Cat’s breed: Gray tabby

When and how did you adopt your cat? Through a Craigslist ad in 2022

One word to describe my cat’s personality: King

Best part of being a cat owner? Regardless of what’s going on in the outside world, you always have your best friend waiting to give you love when you get home.

How long have you been single? 1 year

Most tired cliché about single women? People who act like being single isn’t a choice. If I wanted a boyfriend, I could have one tomorrow. Being single is a choice.

What do you cherish most about being single? My freedom

Do women thrive single? Obviously.

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? Loyalty and confidence

What would your cat warn a potential partner about you? I’m extremely messy. There will be clothes everywhere.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Drinking wine with my best friends and ending the night cuddling my pets. A dream.

Occupation: Curator + model

Social handle(s): @fridacashflow

Cat’s breed: Sphinx

When and how did you adopt your cat? Funnily enough, I got my cat on my first date with someone a year ago.

How long have you been single? Officially, two years. Unofficially, two days.

Most tired cliché about single women? All of them

What do you cherish most about being single? I love having no one in my apartment.

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? Communicative

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? With my besties

Occupation: Model

Social handle(s): @indira

Cat’s breed: Bombay

When and how did you adopt your cat? My mom’s cat ran out and got preggers, and she gave one to me.

One word to describe my cat’s personality: Spoiled

Best part of being a cat owner? Unwarranted kiss attacks

How long have you been single? A hot minute

What do you cherish most about being single? My solitude and self-confidence

Do women thrive single? To each their own, but I certainly do.

What would your cat warn a potential partner about you? I don’t play about mines and will go to war for my loved ones

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Renting out a theater for me and my friends to see Wuthering Heights

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? He is loyal and cute and has great hygiene.

Occupation: Retired vice president at HBO; now doing various creative things

Website: @suebaileyphotography.com

Cat’s breed: Feral and long-haired mix (I suspect he may have some Maine coon in him, but that isn’t confirmed)

When and how did you adopt your cat? I went on Petfinder.com and saw very cute kittens posted by Kyla at Eccentric Kittens.

One word to describe my cat’s personality: Loyal

Best part of being a cat owner? The companionship. I got my first cat in third grade, and I say it was the best thing my parents did for me (other than give me life and keep me alive). I have been a cat lover ever since! I’ve had 12 cats in my life, and I love the difference in their personalities. Leo happens to be very funny. He gets bored easily, so he gets into things. He makes me laugh a lot.

How long have you been single? Shockingly to me, decades. I’ve lost track of how long.

Most tired cliché about single women? That they’re desperate and self-focused. That they sit home and don’t have fascinating, exuberant, expansive lives. That they don’t have close relationships with lots of friends and family around them. One cliché I’m encouraging people to believe is that women with cats are witches! I do think cats can see things and sense things that humans can’t, hence their association with witches and the mystical in life. I happen to be rather woo-woo, and somehow I feel aligned with cats in that way.

What do you cherish most about being single? The freedom, of course. Being single means nothing stops me from seeing the shows or attending concerts and art shows that I want. I have seriously pursued fine art photography, and I’m not sure I could have done that if I weren’t alone. That is a great joy to me as well.

Do women thrive single? Well, I think they do! I feel we come into life for different reasons and with different purposes. You can call it destiny. And sometimes being single is the best way to fulfill those ultimately spiritual goals.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? By rewatching Heated Rivalry!

Occupation: Cat rescuer + tech

Social handle(s): @Eccentrickittens

Cats’ breed: Domestic shorthairs

When and how did you adopt your cat? I adopted Calvin in 2018. She was 4 weeks old and a little spicy diva and started as a foster kitten with a private organization. Now she’s a sweet and loving companion for me and all the rescue cats that I bring in (even though she’s a little tired of being around a revolving door of cats).

Most tired cliché about single women? That it’s not by choice. People think that when a woman is single, it means that something is wrong with her.

What do you cherish most about being single? Control of my time

Do women thrive single? I 100 percent believe that to be true. But that’s not to say that women cannot thrive in a relationship.

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? She is sweet, loving, and nonjudgmental.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? With friends!

Occupation: Cofounder and editor at Byline, Social at Air, DJ sometimes, consultant when needed, artist always…

Social handle(s): @gutes

Cat’s breed: American Shorthair

One word to describe my cat’s personality: Particular

How long have you been single? The perfect amount of time

What do you cherish most about being single? In some ways, my life is already so full of relationships that the only thing I really cherish is not having to share my closet.

Most tired cliché about single women? That we’re lonely or looking. In the wise words of Alexa Chung, I’m happy, pretty, and busy!

Do women thrive single? Sure! More autonomy tends to produce more clarity, more time, and more pleasure. People can thrive in relationships, too. I’m an equal-opportunity thriver. Being single just makes it easier to do it for yourself.

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? Her loyalty. Some might call her territorial or possessive, but let’s not dwell on that.

What would your cat warn a potential partner about you? That I’m easily excited, a little messy, and very serious about the things I care about.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Well, I have a big ~Galentine’s~ Day dinner on the 13th. The girls are in discussion about rebranding Valentine’s Day to be about witches. That being said, my calendar for the 14th is open, and my email is gutes@gutes.world.

Occupation: Textile artist + brand manager @verconiik

Social handle: @theablaney

Cat’s breed: Tabby

When and how did you adopt your cat? I got him for free on Craigslist. I had to pick him up in a McDonald’s parking lot in the Bronx.

Best part of being a cat owner? Soft furry cuddles

How long have you been single? 1 year

Do women thrive being single? I think so. In my experience, men need to be taken care of. I’d rather just take care of myself.

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? He bites. ;)

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? In bed with Sumo <3

Occupation: Strategist

Social handle(s): @charlie.freiberg

Cat’s breed: Bombay

When and how did you adopt your cat? In Baltimore. I signed the papers when he showed his belly.

One word to describe my cat’s personality: Earnest.

How long have you been single? We were still wearing COVID masks.

Most tired cliché about single women? I’m too busy to know that.

Do women thrive single? I’m a trans woman with a career in 2026 America. Does that answer your question?

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? Rambunctious and respectful. Demands I smack his ass.

What would your cat warn a potential partner about you? “Feed yourself—she always has events in the evening.”

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? A kiss in the mirror. For Bean, maybe an inner ear massage.

Occupation: Graphic designer

Social handles: @igtf_tgif

Cat's breed: Tabby domestic shorthair

When and how did you adopt your cat? Since July 2023. I fostered her from Ready For Rescue for a year before I adopted her

Best part of being a cat owner? Conditional love

How long have you been single? 6 months

What do you cherish most about being single? Not being beholden to anyone else’s time or expectations

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? She is smart, beautiful, funny, smells good, comes with me where I want, catches bugs, gives me massages, does my dishes, drops off my laundry, cleans my apartment…

What would your cat warn a potential partner about you? She’s defacing the apartment walls with cat furniture.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Kitty Magic and I will share a chocolate martini at the River (this is not particular to Valentine’s Day….we do this a lot—she loves the bar...).

Occupation: Owner of Les Miss Vintage

Social handle(s) @leahhazel_ , @leahisloud , @lesmissnyc

Cat’s breed: Tabby + unknown

When and how did you adopt your cat? I got Charlie from a Craigslist rehoming post back in college. I won Daphne in a custody battle with an ex-boyfriend.

Best part of being a cat owner? Earning their trust and how special the bond is once you do. Cats aren’t like dogs—trust and love are earned, not guaranteed.

Most tired cliché about single women? I hate the assumption that we are single out of desperation. When someone asks, “How are you still single?” it’s like…’cause I’m not going to settle and I actually like myself and enjoy my alone time (with my cats, of course).

Do women thrive single? Yes!! I have my dream job, amazing friends, and family. If a partner isn’t enhancing my already full life, then I don’t want them there!

What would your cat warn a potential partner about you? My shopping addiction. My cats see all the boxes and bags.

What do you cherish most about being single? My cats and I get to take up the whole bed.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Hosting an event at my shop during the day, and then I’ll go out with my other single girlfriends at night!

Occupation: Fashion PR

Social handle: @allievonn

Cat’s breed: Domestic shorthair

When and how did you adopt your cat? From the Los Feliz streets in L.A. when he was 10 weeks old and still fit in my hand.

One word to describe my cat’s personality: Diva

Best part of being a cat owner? Spending days at home, cuddling and playing

What do you cherish most about being single? Not having to cater to other people’s weird food preferences

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? We have our separate lives but come together when we want to or when I force him to cuddle with me.

What would your cat warn a potential partner about you? She sleeps through earthquakes, burglaries, and anyone telling her to get up.

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? With my cat, my roommate, and her cat

Occupation: Veterinary technician student

Social handle(s): @ayomyerss

Cat’s breed: Domestic shorthair

How long have you been single? 3 years

What do you cherish most about being single? Being able to fully focus on myself and my growth. I’ve been able to find out who I truly am and what I want in life. I’m also very serious about my education, and I don’t need someone who could potentially hold me back.

Do women thrive single? Absolutely! Of course, women can thrive in a relationship with the right partner. But being single builds character.

What qualities does your cat have that you’d appreciate in a potential partner? He is independent but also extremely loving and cuddly. I’d appreciate a balance of that in a potential partner. I don’t want someone who’s overbearingly clingy, but I don’t want someone who’s avoidant.

One word to describe my cat’s personality: Curious

How will you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Dinner with my girls! We do Galentine’s every year, whether we’re single or not. To me, female friendships are the purest form of love.

Creative director: Samantha Adler. Visual director: Scott M. Lacey. Senior fashion editor: Jessica Neises. Senior visual editor: Emily Adar. Associate culture editor: Annabel Iwegbue. Associate visual editor: Aily Zeltser. Designer: Kara Miller.