Even if you are no longer a high-schooler desperately trying to decode clues that your crush likes you back, the anxiety that comes with wondering whether the person you like feels the same way never really goes away.
But if there’s any upside to revisiting this adolescent angst as an adult, it’s that you now have a fully developed brain and all the coping and communication skills that come with it. Which means that instead of sitting around wondering, “Does he like me?” you can simply ask the object of your affections how they feel.
That said, you don’t necessarily want to make a new flame feel like they’re under interrogation. “Instead of directly asking if they like you, ask open-ended questions about their thoughts and feelings,” says Rachel Needle, PsyD, a psychologist and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. “‘What do you think of our time together so far?’ or ‘How do you feel about where things are going?’ These questions allow for honest conversation without putting too much pressure on them.”
But if you’d rather sus out the vibe before hitting send on a potentially risky text, the good news is there are some signs that can help you figure out if a guy likes you. “Signs that someone is into you include consistent and enthusiastic communication, where they make an effort to stay in touch and respond quickly,” sex therapist Denise Renye, PhD. “They will likely also display engaged body language, such as maintaining eye contact and leaning in during conversations. Additionally, they’ll show a genuine interest in your life, asking questions and remembering details about you.”
For the full breakdown of all these not-so-hidden signals and more, keep right on reading this list of 15 signs he likes you, according to experts.
1. He Reciprocates Interest
One of the easiest ways to tell whether or not someone likes you is to pay attention to their intent, explains Bumble’s sex and relationship expert Shan Boodram. Calling when they say they will, not flaking on plans, and reciprocating the time and energy you put into the connection shows intent. “The ways in which they show effort may not exactly mirror yours, but be mindful of their behavior,” Boodram says. “Sometimes it is the small, overlooked gestures that go a long way.”
2. He Makes Plans
If he likes you, he will make time to see you. Not only that, but he will make specific plans to do so. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but a guy who’s really into you will make plans that don’t involve a late-night “U up?” text.
3. He Makes Eye Contact
It might seem simple, but marriage and family therapist Payal Patel says eye contact is vital to non-verbal communication. “When someone looks you directly in the eye when you’re talking to them, it shows they are present and listening to you,” she explains. “It also builds a form of intimacy between two people.”
4. He Checks In on You
Whether it’s a normal day or you have something big going on (like a test or presentation at work), clinical sexologist and psychotherapist Kristie Overstreet, PhD, says if he consistently reaches out, it not only means he’s thinking about you now, but he’s taking note of your future mood/response to life events.
5. He Takes Care of You
Bonus points if it’s without you asking. Whether it’s medicine for a stuffy nose or a walk around the park to clear your head after a stressful day, stepping up to care for you shows his feelings are deeper than surface level, says Boodram.
6. He Tries to Make You Laugh
If he goes out of his way to make you laugh or smile, Australian relationship expert Dr. Lurve says that’s a good indicator he likes you.
7. He Sticks Up for You
It’s easy to be sweet to someone during good times, but Dr. Lurve says if he supports you during hard times, it shows his interest in a deeper bond. “Something you want in your corner is a partner who will stick up for you no matter what,” she explains. “Whether you become part of a confrontational situation with him or someone says something to him about you when you’re not around, if he stands up for you, it shows his loyalty to you and your connection.”
8. He Asks Thoughtful Questions
If he asks questions that skip past the usual small talk and help you engage on a deeper level, that shows he’s not only a good listener but also actually curious about you. Instead of the typical “how was your day?” or “what do you do for a living?” he might ask what you’re passionate about or where your dream vacation spot is.
9. He’s Vulnerable Around You
If he’s vulnerable around you, it means he feels comfortable in your bond. If he’s willing to talk about personal issues or openly shares his emotions (even the difficult ones) with you, as it’s a sign he trusts you and your relationship.
10. He Sends Goodnight and/or Good Morning Texts
If you’re getting goodnight and good morning texts, things are getting pretty serious—or at least heading that way. If you two are exchanging daily (and/or nightly) greetings, you’ve reached a new tier of communication, one in which texting isn’t just something you do for fun or to make plans, but because his day wouldn’t be complete without talking to you.
11. He Mirrors Your Body Language
Body language is everything when it comes to dating. So if your guy imitates your gestures or speech patterns, then that’s a subconscious sign that he’s interested in you, says sexual health and wellness expert Tatyannah King. “He wants to gain mutual trust and create a connection.”
12. He Compliments You on More Than Just Your Appearance
Being told you’re hot rarely gets old, but if a guy is singing your praises to the tune of something other than your looks, that’s when you know he’s really into you. It shows he’s paying attention to more than just the surface and is invested in really getting to know you.
13. He Wants You to Meet His Friends
Way before you get to the stage of meeting each other’s parents, you have to go through meeting each other’s friends. If a guy is integrating you into his friend circle, King says it’s a good sign he’s really into you. This is his way of seeing how you fit into his life and his determining what you think of the people he cares most about.
14. He Doesn’t Look at His Phone When You’re Hanging Out
If a guy manages to focus only on you the whole time you’re together, it’s a pretty good sign he really likes you and is invested in making sure you know you have his undivided attention.
15. He Says “I Miss You”
Telling someone you miss them requires vulnerability. If a guy is admitting this to you, he’s probably looking for more than just a casual friendship.
