For 60 years, Cosmopolitan has been here for you—and your mom and her mom and her mom—on all things love and relationships. As times have changed, so has the advice we give, but one thing remains the same: We’re committed to helping you figure out who you are and what you love. So our editor-in-chief, Willa Bennett, is here to respond to your latest questions about it all. Here’s what’s been on your minds lately.
Why does it feel impossible to move from online matches to real-life dates?
Texting on an app feels safer than risking rejection in person. I set a three to five messages rule. If there’s chemistry after those conversations, I suggest a meeting. If the other person doesn’t respond or won’t make a plan, I know I’ve saved myself time in the long run.
How much should I care about what my partner posts (or doesn’t post) about me?
Some people share every detail of their relationships online; others prefer to keep it all private. Neither approach is right or wrong. What’s important is the motivation behind the posting (or not posting). Is it to establish a sense of security? To celebrate? Discuss it together and remember that it’s important to feel seen offline, too—Instagram shouldn’t be all-important in your relationship.
Is Liking someone else’s photo cheating? What about DMing an ex?
Cheating? Not necessarily. But if doing so becomes a pattern or starts to feel sneaky or disrespectful, it becomes less about the action and more about the intent. Why are you truly committed to this kind of Liking or DMing? What matters most is how it makes you—and your partner—feel.
I know I shouldn’t have, but I went through my boyfriend’s phone and read his texts. Do I tell him?
First, I strongly advise against looking through someone’s phone. Nothing good will come of it. But what you do next here matters: Be honest and apologize. He may be hurt, but your transparency gives you both a chance to rebuild trust.
My partner and I have starkly different social media habits and it's affecting our relationship. Can we still make it work?
Yes. The two of you don’t have to use social media in the same way, but you do need to understand how your behaviors impact each other. Calmly share your collective concerns and work to set up compromises and boundaries that feel healthy for the both of you.
Is it true that relationships that start in person are more successful than those that start on dating apps?
No, what matters is what happens once you’re together. There’s no “better” way to meet someone.
What do I do with my ex’s nudes?
What an exciting question for our Online Issue. Writer Hayley Folk explores this in depth here.
What should I do if I catch my newish partner still active on dating apps?
The real question: Why are they still there? Maybe they forgot to pause or delete their profile. Maybe they’re unsure about your exclusivity. Be direct about how this makes you feel. Try something like, “I saw you’re still active on the apps. I thought we were only seeing each other, so I was surprised. Can you tell me why you haven’t paused your profiles?” Their response will tell you everything you need to know.
I’ve noticed a lot of my peers embracing AI on their dating profiles. Should I, too?
There is no doubt that AI has already changed so much about the way we date, with people using it to create bios, analyze responses, draft text replies, and more. We dedicated an entire special feature to answering your question.
Have a question about love for Willa? Send it to [email protected]. And be sure to check out her love and relationships newsletter, Love, Willa here.
