• Through TikTok’s “I Survived” trend, users are publicly listing the archetypes of people they’ve endured (the love bomber, the D1 recruit, the Parisian bartender).
  • They’re most often set to Jennifer Hudson’s “Golden Slumbers” from Sing, and some notable names have tapped into the trend.
  • This could be the less-involved alternative to the multipart callout series. (Think "Who TF Did I Marry?”)

There are some relationships (and situationships) that leave you feeling like a war veteran. While there’s no medal of honor for having endured the torment of a narcissistic finance bro or a ridiculously condescending artist, at least you walk away with lifelong lessons—and plenty of material for cathartic debriefs with your friends, where you’re thankfully reminded that everyone has been done dirty at some point. But a current TikTok trend, “I Survived” videos, offers an alternative (and more public) outlet for airing out the egregious characters who’ve caused us immense suffering.

The clips are most often set to the Jennifer Hudson ballad “Golden Slumbers,” best known from the movie Sing (an underrated classic, in my opinion). That melodramatic soundtrack is warranted. In each video, users will recount the wide range of archetypes they’ve endured in relationships over the years. The iconic showrunner Shonda Rhimes even got in on the action, albeit by listing off fictional male characters she wrote for TV instead of dating IRL. But typically, these videos serve partly as a badge of honor and partly as a communal space where people can identify with each other’s romantic horror stories.

It’s honestly a great option for those of us who want to air out some of our dirty laundry—but not all of it. I personally don’t ever see myself posting a 50-part “Who TF Did I Marry” series, but this sort of callout seems tamer *and* like it requires a lot less work. As cathartic as they are, “I Survived” videos don’t require anyone to dive into the gritty details of what made these relationships so toxic. In fact, the lore surrounding these archetypes—the love bomber, the D1 recruit, the Parisian bartender—has become so universally understood that no further explanation is needed. Just the mention of the type of person is enough for fellow users to understand what terrors the relationship likely entailed.

Personally, I’m grateful that these posts offer a common space for survivors of emotional assailants to both heal and joke about their wounds. In the wise words of Mitski, “Nothing’s new.” Plenty of people have been ghosted by a mama’s boy, and the torment of dating a SoundCloud rapper is far more commonly experienced than you might think. These videos make it clear—you’re not alone in your suffering, and in some weird way, there’s actually comfort in realizing that what you thought was your bespoke nightmare is part of a much larger and very relatable pattern. We are all survivors of something if you think about it.