If you’re worried about being single on Valentine’s Day, I have amazing news: there’s literally zero reason to be worried about that! Listen, I did not come here to invalidate anyone’s feelings nor am I a V-Day hater. Hating Valentine’s Day is obviously an incredibly boring and unnecessarily negative way to go through life. I also understand that if you are someone who is currently weathering a recent/impending breakup or heartbreak-not-otherwise-specified (read: situationship breakup), then the Single on Valentine’s Day of it all is probably hitting a little harder than usual. (Hi, yes, been there.)
But take it from me, a gal who has been single for roughly 25 out of the 27 Valentine’s Days I’ve spent on god’s green earth: this is truly not a day worth stressing over. As I recently discussed with my own fellow Cosmo Sex and Relationships Editor, Veronica Lopez (my lovely, talented and happily partnered counterpart), Valentine’s Day is equally fun, chill, and, tbh, not a big deal regardless of your current relationship status. It’s really just an excuse to celebrate whatever you have going on in your life at the moment and/or whoever you happen to love—be it romantic partners, friends, or (dare I say, most importantly) yourself.
All of which is to say that if you’re single on Valentine’s Day this year, that’s just as much a reason to celebrate as being coupled (or throupled, or otherwise non-mongamously partnered) up. Here are 30 ways to celebrate your single and fabulous self this Valentine’s Day.
1. Pamper Yourself With a Spa Day
You know what screams self-love? A full-blown, no-holds-barred spa day. If you’re up for some luxury, book yourself a bunch of services that make you feel like the royal you are. We’re talking massages, manis, facials, fluffy robes, and complimentary prosecco—you deserve it all. Working with a budget? Turn your home into a DIY spa with bubble baths, face masks, a personal massager (*wink wink*), and some fancy cucumber water. Whatever you choose, let it be a day of indulgence.
2. Spend the Night With Your Vibrator
Not that anyone needs an excuse to spend some quality time alone, but if you don’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day, then staying home with a battery-powered companion could be just what you need. Sadie Allison, founder of sex-toy boutique TickleKitty.com, encourages women to enjoy their alone time. "You can make a whole date out of it,” she says.
3. Try a New Recipe You’ve Had Bookmarked Forever
There have got to be at least a few TikTok recipes you’ve saved. Pull ’em up and make a night of it! Run to the grocery store, buy what you need, and get to work. The women who came before you might have you convinced that the “way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” (ugh), but the only heart that really matters here is yours. Make something hearty and delicious that really hits the spot and sets you up for The Best Night In Of All Time. (Bonus points if you Google the best wine pairing for said meal or whip up an at-home version of your favorite cocktail/mocktail.)
4. Take Yourself Out to Dinner
Taking yourself out to dinner is majorly underrated. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as making a reservation at your favorite restaurant, getting dressed up just for you, and ordering everything that makes your mouth water, just because you can. Bring a good book or your favorite magazine (ahem, might we suggest ours?) and bask in how good it feels to treat yourself the way you want (nay, deserve) to be treated.
5. Plan a Galentine’s Day
While you might be single, that doesn’t mean you only have to spend Valentine’s Day by yourself. Even if your friends are relationship’d up, plan ahead to make separate plans with them to have the best type of celebration there is: Galentine’s Day. Sip on fun drinks, munch on even better snacks, and take the time to appreciate the wonderful friendships you have with the women in your life.
6. Embark on an Adventure
There’s literally no rule that says you have to wait for “your person” to take a vacay, day-cay, or otherwise peace out and explore. Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity get all wanderlusty and set off on a solo expedition. Whether it’s a charming little French town across the globe or just the artsy café with the funky paintings in the trendy part of the city, the world is your metaphorical oyster. Linger in a gallery, sip coffee as you judge people-watch, and enjoy new experiences at your own pace. Or, if you hate the idea of going alone, book a trip through a group like Adventures in Good Company that specializes in all-female trips around the world for every experience level.
7. Call Your Mom
Or your dad or your sister or your best friend or a member of your chosen family. Remember, this day is all about celebrating love—in all forms.
8. Listen to This Podcast
The geniuses behind the Betches Oversharing podcast (i.e., Betches co-founder Jordana Abraham and her sister, psychologist Dr. Naomi Bernstein) have a guided meditation for being single on Valentine’s Day. If it’s hitting hard this year, give this a listen.
9. Read Your Favorite Romance Novel
Remind yourself that love (or smut, at least) is alive and well by revisiting your go-to romance novel or picking up a new one. (Or reading some of these real-life love letters.)
10. Get a tarot card reading
No matter how you feel about your single status, being uncoupled on V-Day can certainly find you wondering about your romantic future. One way to find out what may be in store for your love life (or at least spend some time meaningfully reflecting on your life and the direction it’s heading): get a tarot card reading!
11. Spoil Your Pets
I just asked one of my closest and most fabulous single friends what she’s doing for V-Day and she said, “Making lobster for me and the cats!” Which…honestly sounds delightful? Tbh, I am neither a vet nor a pet-owner myself, so I cannot vouch for whether or not cats can safely consume lobster (disclaimer!), but spoiling the fuzzy friends in your life (and yourself, while you’re at it) sounds like an enviably incredible way to spend V-Day to me.
12. Don’t Text Your Ex
I mean, or do. But read this first.
13. Host a Solo Movie Marathon
I know the calendar says it’s V-Day, but really, it's the perfect day for some bed/couch-rot. Transform your living space into the ultimate movie den with comfy pillows, weighted blankets, and every damn snack you can dream of (without having to share). Whether you steer toward creepy thrillers to get your mind off the day or romance flicks so you can fantasize about your on-screen boyf/girlf, it’s all about celebrating your very impeccable, very distinguished taste in film.
14. Create a Vision Board
I know vision boards can feel kinda dated, but! Not only are they a fun excuse to buy a bunch of mags to get all crafty with, but the actual act of creating the collage helps focus your goals, clarify your desires, and manifest your dreams. So, go on. Grab those glitter pens and craft a vision board that’s as vibrant and ambitious as you are (or as you want to be). From travel pics to inspirational quotes, add any and all visuals that motivate you (or simply look fab for the aesthetic). Once you’re done, display the board someplace you can see it to serve as a daily reminder of the exciting, unwritten saga that is your future.
15. Write Letters to Your (Future) Self
Ever wanted to time travel? Here’s your chance. Grab your fanciest stationery and write letters to your future self. Think of it like journaling, but instead of focusing on the now, you’re zeroing in on what’s to come. Map out your dreams, make a sex bucket list, figure out the qualities you want in your next partner—whatever! Once you’ve spilled your soul, address the notes to different versions of “you” in the future (like “To: Me When I Get My First House” or “To: Me When I Have A Baby”) so you can have heart-to-hearts with yourself at different stages of your journ. Seal them up and open only at those milestones or moments, discovering what your past self had to say.
16. Have a Long FaceTime Catch-Up With Another Single Friend or Family Member
If you’ve said or texted the words “we’re overdue for a catch-up!” in the past six months, go ahead and put it on the cal. Whether it’s a friend you haven’t seen in ages or a family member back home who’s also kicking it solo today, grab a glass of wine and get the low-down on how they’re doing. It always feels good to be there for someone and to catch them up on all the new happenings in your life.
17. Go On a First Date
Okay, so I know this os all about how to be single on Valentine’s Day, but hear me out: Go on a first date. You heard me! That dating app match you’ve been chatting with? They’re single too (presumably!) and most likely don’t have plans tonight either. Take advantage of the lovey-dovey vibes that come with V-Day and go to dinner, grab a drink, have a fun hookup—whatever the vibe calls for! Get to know someone new. It’s not much different than what you would’ve done on a regular, non-holiday night either, so you don’t even have to lean into the Valentine’s of it all if you don’t want to.
18. Take a Fun Class
You don’t have to sit by and watch as the world around you celebrates romantic love and couples. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to learn, what better day to go out and do it? Whether it’s a cooking class, language class, workout class, what have you, focusing on yourself and putting that energy into a new skill is a great way to pour all that love into your brain.
19. Get Some Retail Therapy In
One of the best parts about being single on Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to pretend to be excited about a gift from a significant other that you actually hate. I mean, who knows you better than you? Need some new jewelry? Clothes? Makeup? Nothing feels better than gifting yourself something you know you’re going to love. In the words of Ariana Grande, “I want it? I got it.”
20. Focus on Your New Year’s Goals
The cool thing about Valentine’s Day being in February is that it’s still pretty early in the year. So if you need an activity or goal to channel all that single-and-sufficient energy into, you can totally look at the list of New Year’s resolutions you probably found yourself neglecting already. Did you plan on becoming healthier? Trying a new hobby? Reading more? Not doing anything on Valentine’s Day? Now you are.
21. Do Some Pre-Spring Cleaning
It might not be spring yet, but get ahead of it! Clean out your closet, make a “donate” pile, throw out expired makeup and skincare, go through your fridge and throw out the banana that’s been sitting in the back for the past month (I’m not judging you, this is a mental note for me too)—you get it. Have your favorite movie on in the background, order your fave sushi, and at the end of the night you’ll have both a clean space and a clean slate.
22. Have a Sexy Photo Shoot
You don’t have to have a partner in order to take some fire nudes of yourself. Valentine’s Day is all about love, but it’s also a super-sexy holiday—even if you’re celebrating it alone. There are plenty of lingerie sales going around, so pick up something for yourself and have a sultry photo shoot. You don’t even have to send it or post it anywhere (unless you want to!). Sometimes all you need to feel good about being single on Valentine’s Day is reminding yourself how freaking hot you are.
23. Have a Regular Day
You don’t even have to do anything special on Valentine’s Day to get through it. Wake up whenever you usually do, brush your teeth, have some breakfast, and go about your day just like it was any other. Because sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself to avoid feeling sad is to pretend that the holiday doesn’t even exist.
24. Write Yourself a Love Letter
Hate to say it, but the most important relationship you have is with yourself. (Corny yet true!) Which is why spending V-Day solo can be a really great opportunity to connect with your mind. Licensed psychotherapist Markesha Miller suggests writing yourself a love letter. “Celebrate you and the progress you have continued to make in your life,” she says. “This is the perfect time to fall in love with yourself.” Make it as romantic as you would if you were writing a love letter to a partner, complete with a spritz of fancy perfume on the pages and endless gushing about all your best qualities.
25. Take the Day Off From Instagram
If seeing other people’s bouquets, dinners, and other V-Day flexes on IG is going to make you feel even more salty about your situation, delete the app entirely or be mindful of your scrolling. “Don’t spend too long on social media if images of romantic Valentine’s Day gifts and pictures are going to haunt you,” says Keisha Blair, author of Holistic Wealth: 32 Life Lessons to Help You Find Purpose, Prosperity, and Happiness.
26. Spread Love by Gifting Yourself (or Others!) Flowers
Valentine’s Day isn’t exclusive to romantic love, says Robert Vandor, of LunchDates.com. If you’re not getting flowers this year, give them! “Pop into a Trader Joe’s after work and scoop up affordable flowers to distribute at a nearby nursing home,” he suggests. “Nothing feeds the soul like making others smile.” Afterward, you can reward yourself with fancy takeout from a high-end restaurant and relish in the fact that you spread love in an unexpected and authentic way, he adds.
27. Volunteer
You can also volunteer at a youth shelter, soup kitchen, or animal shelter. “Give away your time, energy, and skills unconditionally to serve others,” says sex and relationships expert Alexis Taylor. It’s easy to feel bad when you’re single on Valentine’s Day, but “we don’t see others and recognize their basic needs when we are higher in the Maslow hierarchy and self-absorbed,” adds Taylor. Take that energy and spin it into something positive to help those less fortunate.
28. Do Everything You’d Do if You Were Coupled Up
Let’s be real, most dates always end in Netflix anyway, which is great because you don’t need a partner to do that. There are plenty of things you can do by yourself that couples are also doing on Valentine’s Day. See a movie, order dessert, do anything that makes you happy. It’s totally great to be in touch with your emotions, but don’t buy into the idea that you need another person to be happy, says Adina Mahalli, MSW.
29. Hibernate
Yes, you read that right. If you were looking for an excuse to stay in, turn your phone on Do Not Disturb and veg out for 24 hours—Valentine’s Day is the most perfect reason ever to do so. “Sleeping all day alone in your room doesn’t mean that you are depressed and lonely,” says Chris Pleines, of Dating Scout. And the fact of the matter is, with all the burnout and stress from your everyday life and work/school, and balancing your platonic friendships, you’re likely in need of a rest anyway. “It’s one good way to recharge and enjoy some quiet time for yourself,” says Pleines, adding that it can also remind you to be happy with yourself and independent, not to mention focus on self-care.
30. Treat Yourself
A Valentine’s Day dinner = pricey. Take the day as an excuse to spend less than you would on a fancy date or romantic getaway to get something totally unnecessary but fun for yourself.
31. Remember That Valentine’s Day Happens Only Once a Year
Just like every other holiday, it’s important to remember that it’ll soon be over. “It’s just a day,” says clinical psychologist Rebekah Montgomery, PhD. “Engage in some extra self-care and TLC to make it through the 24 hours.”
It might feel like the world is out to get you when stores are decorated with red heart balloons and cheesy love songs are playing on repeat. But come February 15, all those cards with heartfelt messages in them will be lining a dumpster somewhere.
32. Also Remember That V-Day Wouldn’t Necessarily Be Better Spent With a Partner
According to psychotherapist Hilda Burke, “Many singletons imagine their coupled-up counterparts are having a better time of it, particularly on Valentine’s Day. It’s human nature to think that the grass is always greener. But the fact is that being single is no better nor worse than being in a couple.”
After all, being in a relationship on Valentine’s Day comes with its own set of anxieties and pressures. If you’re single, you have the luxury of being selfish and putting your own needs first.
33. Remember Your Ghosts of Valentine’s Days Past in a Productive Way
Reflecting on past relationships isn’t always the best thing to do, especially if you’re still remotely into any of your exes. But for better or worse, Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to think about why things didn’t work out with your ex and realize that you deserve to be happy too. Relationships editor Christal D. Jordan says it’s important to remember that people who hurt you are better left in your past. And it's true! You're thriving on your own. Remember that!
34. Use the Time to Connect With Your Single Friends
In the past, Valentine’s Day may have been a celebration for couples, but you don’t have to stick to that. Venessa Marie Perry, MPH, founder of The Love Write, tells her clients to plan something special for themselves or with other single friends. Something as simple as hosting a dinner with other singles so that you can enjoy some laughter among friends can take away any negativity you might have about the occasion.
And if you’re feeling stressed about not having a significant other to spoil on the holiday, why not treat your friends instead? “It’s always important to treat yourself and the important people in your life,” Perry says, even if they’re not necessarily your romantic partners.
35. Start a Valentine’s Day Secret Santa With Friends
Sexpert Kryss Shane has come up with an innovative way to spread the love even when you’re single: Set up a “Valentine’s Day Secret Santa (Secret Cupid?) with friends so that everyone feels joyous on this day.” Basically, everyone deserves candy, whether they’re single or not.
Sometimes, a holiday like Valentine’s Day is the last thing you need, especially if you’ve recently been through a breakup or you just can’t seem to pin down your crush. But there’s absolutely zero reason to feel bad about being single. Just live your life and keep on being your fabulous self.
