15 FaceTime Sex Positions to Level Up Your Virtual Connection
Or just your regular Thursday night. 😉
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Long-distance sex can be so much more than a placeholder between sex IRL. Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or just looking for something new in your sex life, sex via FaceTime, Skype, or Signal is its own extremely hot genre of debauchery.
“Long-distance sex can force you to get creative and break routine,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, Astroglide’s resident sexologist. Its limitations are what make it so good. “When you’re apart, you’re more likely to really tune into tone, language, playfulness, flirtation, and erotic energy more generally, which can intensify desire.” Plus, the physical distance can make the whole experience feel a little less vulnerable, which can in turn make you more willing to experiment with new things.
Besides, your virtual sessions can make finally getting your non-virtual hands on each other feel so much more satisfying. “When you’re not together, you often fill in the gaps to build anticipation, and this, combined with the waiting and wanting, can really heighten erotic tension,” says O’Reilly.
For the best long-distance bang, start with a little prep work. First: Safety. Make sure you talk ground rules and confirm that everyone’s fully onboard. (If something feels off, remember that virtual sex, like any other kind of sex, can absolutely be off the table at any time, for any reason.)
Then, set the scene. Have whatever you need close at hand, including things like lube, props and/or any long-distance sex toys. Assess your camera angles before you go live. “Set up your phone so your hands are free and your partner can get a perfect look at all of you,” says Sarah Riccio, queer sex educator and co-founder of Delicto.com, who recommends using a ring light. “This way, you don’t have to worry about holding the phone and potentially dropping it on your face when you’re trying to get off.”
Whether it’s a weekly virtual date night with your long-distance partner, or more of a “u up?” situation, here are 15 positions and scenarios for the best mutual pleasure from afar.
The Shower Show
How To Do It: “Lean your phone or laptop on the vanity and put on a show with props. Grab your lube, waterproof toys, loofahs, and bubble bath and take advantage of the flow, movement, texture, and temperature of the running water against your entire body,” says O’Reilly.
Pros: A great way to indulge exhibitionist/voyeur fantasies. Plus, sensually showering is just sexy.
Cons: Lube in a shower can be dangerously slippery. Place a non-slip mat down beforehand!
Switch It Up: Have your partner do the same thing at the same time so it feels like you’re taking a shower “together.”
Make It Hotter: Bring out a detachable shower head for the grand finale. (Any detachable shower head will do the trick, but there’s one specifically designed or shower masturbation.)
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The Wide Angle
How To Do It: “Leave more to the imagination and set up your phone or laptop across the room so that your lover can see your figure and movements in the distance, but much is left to the imagination,” says O’Reilly.
Pros: “If you’re feeling a little self-conscious, a wide angle can help put you at ease so you can tune into your own sensations more mindfully without worrying about the pressure of performance,” she says.
Cons: For people who really don’t like being on camera, this might be too much on-screen time. Try #4, Story Time, instead.
Switch It Up: If you’re feeling it, as you get increasingly turned on, move closer to the camera.
Make It Hotter: Try a voyeuristic version. One of you sets the camera up and pretends they don’t know they’re being watched. They go through the motions of getting ready for bed, sliding between their sheets, then bringing themselves to orgasm.
The Mirror Show
How To Do It: O’Reilly suggests arranging yourself on a chair or bed near a long mirror, then attaching your phone to it using a suction cup grip. Video-call your partner and put on a show that you, too, can enjoy.
Pros: You get to see just how hot you look, and
your partner can watch you watching yourself.
Cons: It might be tricky to get the right angle. Practice before going live!
Switch It Up: “You can take control or take requests as you play with a dual view,” says O’Reilly.
Make It Hotter: Attach a dildo with a suction cup above or below your device and play with different views, sensations, and angles.
The Story Time
How To Do It: Instead of using video, try an audio-only call. Tell each other (in detail) what you plan to do each other, describe an incredibly hot encounter you had while you both masturbate, or share a fantasy.
Pros: Audio can feel incredibly intimate, so it’s great way to discover new things that can really turn earn other on. Plus, you don’t have to worry about getting distracted by camera angles.
Cons: If you and your partner have never talked dirty, it could feel a little awkward. Try reading erotica to each other.
Switch It Up: Audio is a great way to try beginner role-play. Try on some new personas!
Make It Hotter: If you’re into power play, have one person instruct the other on what to do. The more specific, the better. Think: “Open your drawer and get out that bottle of arousal gel I sent you. Put two drops on your left nipple and rub it in…”
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The Big Tease
How To Do It: Your partner is allowed to look but not touch. (They can’t touch you, obviously, but they also can’t touch themselves.) Make it a little rough for them. Do a slow striptease, stroke your body, then let them watch as you play with yourself.
Pros: For the person performing, it’s a chance to get their inner exhibitionist on, and give their partner an online tutorial on how exactly they like to be touched.
Cons: The performance aspect can feel awkward for some. Try adding music, or even role play!
Switch It Up: Try a no-face, body-only version.
Make It Hotter: If you're feeling kind, let them join in at the end—or don’t.
The FaceTime Original
How To Do It: A surprisingly sexy twist on a FaceTime sesh is to show your faces only. As you touch yourselves with toys or hands, tell each other what you’re doing and let your imaginations handle the rest.
Pros: Watching someone’s face—and being watched—reacting up to and through an orgasm can be surprisingly intimate.
Cons: For some, it can be too intimate. If eye-contact is too intense for you, totally fine to look away or angle the camera to switch to an audio-only version.
Switch It Up: You can also try a version where one person’s face is looking at the other’s penis/vagina/ass/whatever. Test out different angles to decide what works for you.
Make It Hotter: See if you can sync yourselves and have remote, simultaneous orgasms.
The FaceTime Soak
How To Do It: If you feel shy or weird about just getting naked, start out with a bath together/apart. Fill up a bath with warm water and lots of bubbles. Angle your computer on a chair or sink next to the tub so it’s pointing at you, but securely in place. Soap up, gradually intensifying the sensual energy as you start to relax.
Pros: The nudity feels more organic, and for some, it can feel safer to keep your body under water/a mountain of bubbles.
Cons: Electricity + water = not great. Charge your computer beforehand, unplug it, and keep it well away from the water.
Switch It Up: Try it with a waterproof (important!) toy.
Make It Hotter: If you start to feel braver, bother/either of you can lift your hips out the water and give each other a better view. (A hand-held showerhead works well here.)
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The Codirectors
How To Do It: Take turns asking each other to do something—take off a piece of clothing, brush a thumb up their inner thigh, squeeze a dollop of lube between your legs, use a toy in a specific place. Moan, loudly.
Pros: Bossing and being bossed can be super-hot. Plus, you might each be surprised by what the other requests.
Cons: Some people don’t like power play or being told what to do. Completely fine! Move on to something else. Or, if you want to try it anyway, establish a safe word to implement if it gets too intense.
Switch It Up: Let just one of you be the boss for this session. Next time, it’s payback.
Make It Hotter: Stretch it out as long as you can. Don’t let each other have an orgasm until the other says they can.
The Remote Rumbles
How To Do It: Give your partner the next best thing to your hands by investing in quality remote control sex toys. You can outfit yourselves with pretty much any toy including penis toys, anal plugs, and vibrators to control each other’s stimulation via app.
Pros: (Almost) direct control of each other’s pleasure. You can sit in your beds with phones in your hand, operate the controls, and behold your powers at work.
Cons: Learning curve! Figure out all the tech stuff beforehand so you waste no time fumbling around.
Switch It Up: Take turns pleasuring each other or go full power on each other at the same time.
Make It Hotter: If your partner wants more stimulation, make ‘em beg.
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The Private(s) Callers
How To Do It: If you don’t want to have your face and your vagina/penis in the same frame (valid!), have your genitals connect remotely. Get on your knees, prop your phone or laptop so it just shows your torso, and masturbate to the sight of each other.
Pros: Hot, but no incriminating evidence. You’ll still be able to hear each other’s moans, and you can stare at your partner’s hand stroking themselves as much as you want.
Cons: You need to be able to get the angles just right. Try a test run with just you and your camera first.
Switch It Up: Try a peen-to-face call. Or vulva-to-face. Or boobs-to-ass. Any body part can make the call, just angle the cameras so you can see and you’re good to go.
Make It Hotter: Since you can’t see each other’s faces, this is an easy entry ramp for role play for the shy.
The Cam Star
How To Do It: Play cam star for hire for the night and give your partner an all-access private show. Wear something super sexy and slowly undress, teasing them.
Pros: It’s a chance to mix things up with a bit of a role-playing vibe.
Cons: Not everyone is down with this fantasy. If that sounds like you, move on to something tried and true.
Switch It Up: Next time, your partner is up.
Make It Hotter: Let them take control and tell you what they’d like to see next.
The Online Date
How To Do It: Don’t just have an orgasm and then sign off—have an actual date. Plan it ahead of time, dress in whatever is sexy is to you, talk over a drink or food. Later, strip for each other, taking your time and building anticipation.
Pros: Romantic quality time, plus orgasms.
Cons: If your relationship has little going on beyond booty calls, you’ll find out on this date. Knowledge is power!
Switch It Up: Possible date night activity? Relationship check-in.
Make It Hotter: Get super graphic. One of you can prop a phone or laptop by your knees or get on all fours so other can imagine plunging into you while you play with yourself with a toy.
Porn-and-Chill
How To Do It: “We’ve all queued up Netflix over FaceTime to marathon-watch a show with our long-distance lovers, so why not try it with your favorite ethical porn?” suggests Riccio. “Just swap the sweatpants and snacks for sex toys and lube, and you’re ready to enjoy a virtual mutual-masturbation session.
Pros: “Trust me: Seeing and hearing your partner pleasure themself to the same porn you’re watching is a sensory experience you won’t soon forget,” says Riccio.
Cons: Porn can be a little intense for some people. Try a movie with a hot sex scene, instead.
Switch It Up: Take turns picking a movie. If one of you isn’t into what the other picks, you both have complete veto power, but consider giving something you might not normally be into a chance.
Make It Hotter: Recreate a scene from the movie.
The Unknown Caller
How To Do It: Set up a role-play or costume scenario before your Very Important Call. “Role-play and dressing up are easy kinks that can transform to a video platform,” says Gillian Myhill, sex and relationships expert and BARE co-founder.
Pros: Getting out of your comfort zone is a great way to spice things up. Plus, it’s just fun to pretend.
Cons: Anyone at any time can accidentally cross a boundary—even fictional characters during role-play. Talk beforehand about what’s okay and what’s isn’t (think: name-calling, cursing, etc.) and establish a safe word if someone needs to hit pause.
Switch It Up: Try some different role-playing scenarios. Strangers? Landlord/tenant? Up to you.
Make It Hotter: Want to do something kinky you’ve never done before? Long distance can make it easier to talk about. Ask your partner—maybe they’re into it too. “Kinky sex doesn’t need to be confined to in-person. Speaking about the things you would like to explore is a great start, and can be a huge turn-on,” says Myhill.
Wish You Were Here
How To Do It: “If you enjoy penetrative sex, grab a dildo and show your partner everything you’re going to do to their penis or strap-on when you’re reunited,” says Riccio. “For this, I recommend using a dildo with a suction cup base so you have full use of your hands and can really put on a show.”
Pros: A great way to show how much you miss a partner and certain favorite body parts. Plus, it’s very visual.
Cons: For some people with vaginas, a regular dildo doesn’t do much, sensation-wise. Try one that vibrates.
Switch It Up: Give the dildo a lustful blow job while gazing at your partner beyond the camera.
Make It Hotter: Go extra realistic by ordering a dildo made from a mold of a penis-having partner’s actual penis.
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