If you’ve ever searched how to scissor, chances are you’ve come across a mix of vague definitions, over-the-top portrayals, or explanations that don’t actually tell you much about how it works in real life. While scissoring is often referenced in conversations about lesbian sex, vulva-to-vulva intimacy, and outercourse, it’s also widely misunderstood, partly because popular culture tends to portray it as one very specific, almost acrobatic lesbian sex position rather than a flexible form of shared stimulation.
“At its core, scissoring refers to partners creating sensation by rubbing or grinding their genitals together,” says Sarah Tomchesson, sex educator and Director of Marketing and Education at Magic Wand. The term may bring to mind the classic intertwined-legs image, but the reality is far less prescriptive. There isn’t just one way to do it, and it’s not limited to a particular body type, gender identity, or relationship dynamic.
Like many forms of sex that focus on external stimulation, scissoring is more about experimenting with pressure, positioning, and communication than achieving a picture-perfect pose. Letting go of expectations about what it’s supposed to look like can make it easier for partners to focus on comfort, curiosity, and what actually feels good.
Ahead, experts break down what scissoring is, common misconceptions, and practical tips for exploring it in a way that works for you.
What Is Scissoring?
Scissoring, also known as tribbing or tribadism, is a form of sex where partners rub or grind their genitals together to create stimulation. It’s often described as “a sex position wherein partners lie facing opposite directions, interlocking their legs such that their genitals rub against one another,” says sex therapist Casey Tanner, a sex expert for Lelo.
But that classic pose famous in lesbian porn is just one variation. “The name comes from its most well-known position, where partners intertwine their legs in a scissor-like stance, though the term broadly covers any mutual genital grinding,” adds Tomchesson.
In practice, the term can apply to any position that allows partners to create genital-to-genital contact, whether they’re side by side, angled toward each other, or experimenting with different levels of pressure. It’s also not limited to one type of anatomy or pairing. With small adjustments to positioning, many partners can explore this kind of shared stimulation in ways that feel natural and mutually pleasurable.
How Do You Scissor Someone?
To scissor, you’ll typically position yourself across from your partner so your genitals make contact, either lying down, sitting upright, or adjusting your bodies until the angle feels right, says sex and relationships coach Lucy Rowett. “You then rub or grind in a way that feels good for both of you. The goal is to simultaneously stimulate each other’s genitals for pleasure,” she explains.
That said, orgasm doesn’t have to be the objective. “While scissoring can stimulate the genitals, it is rarely the route to orgasm, so don’t worry if it doesn’t bring you to climax,” says Tanner. Focusing too heavily on a specific outcome can actually make it harder to stay present. Prioritizing sensation, communication, and comfort tends to create a more satisfying experience overall.
Although scissoring is often associated with lesbian sex, it isn’t limited to partners with vulvas. “You do not need to have a vulva, or a partner with a vulva, to enjoy scissoring,” Tanner adds. With small adjustments in positioning and pressure, people of many anatomies can explore genital-to-genital grinding in ways that feel mutually pleasurable.
Best Positions for Scissoring
“The classic scissoring position involves partners lying on their sides with their legs intertwined and hips aligned so their genitals can meet,” says Tanner. “However, some might find it more comfortable to scissor with one partner on top, or by adjusting the angle and positioning of their legs for deeper or more targeted contact.”
Because bodies, flexibility, and preferences vary, finding the right setup may take some experimentation. “Be willing to adjust your position in a way that feels good for you both and use supports like pillows, the wall, or even a chair,” suggests Rowett. Elevating the hips with pillows, sitting more upright, or shifting into a face-to-face seated position can all change the angle of contact and make movement easier to control.
Another option is to try positions where one partner lies back while the other straddles at an angle, allowing for grinding or rocking motions that create steady pressure. Small adjustments in height, leg placement, or rhythm can make a significant difference in comfort and stimulation.
Rather than trying to replicate a specific pose, think of scissoring as adaptable. Exploring different positions and using support when needed can help partners discover what feels most natural for their bodies.
6 Expert-Backed Scissoring Tips
1. Use Lube
Lube can make scissoring more comfortable and enjoyable by reducing friction and allowing for smoother movement. “It will give you extra glide for the grinding, so use it liberally,” says Rowett. Adding lubrication is especially helpful when there’s contact with areas that have hair or when partners are experimenting with sustained pressure, as it can help prevent pulling or chafing.
2. You Don’t Have to Be Naked
Scissoring doesn’t require full nudity. Grinding over underwear or clothing can create friction and pressure while adding a different kind of sensation. For some partners, leaving a layer on can make the experience feel more comfortable or less intense, especially if you’re still figuring out what feels good.
As with any form of sex, communication about comfort levels and boundaries matters more than following a specific script.
3. Incorporate Toys
Adding supportive props or toys can help make positioning more comfortable and enhance stimulation. “Don’t be afraid to use props like pillows or wedge cushions to support your body’s needs,” says Tanner. “Incorporating sex toys, such as a small, flat vibrator, can add stimulation during scissoring without getting in the way.”
Low-profile toys that sit comfortably between bodies, like palm-style or finger vibrators, can be especially well-suited for this kind of contact because they don’t require a lot of space or disrupt movement. Experimenting with different shapes and levels of vibration can help partners find what complements the experience rather than distracting from it.
4. Explore Other Erogenous Zones
While scissoring focuses on genital contact, it can also be an opportunity to incorporate touch elsewhere. “Caressing, gripping, and massaging other parts of the body like the breasts, neck, thighs, and butt can increase overall stimulation,” says sex educator Linnea Marie.
Paying attention to these additional areas can help build arousal and create a more connected experience, especially since many people enjoy a combination of sensations rather than focusing on one point of contact. Experiment with different types of touch, pressure, or rhythm to see what feels best for both partners.
5. You Don’t Have to Commit to Scissoring the Whole Time
“You don’t have to start or finish in this position,” Marie says. Scissoring can be one way to connect during sex, but it doesn’t have to be the focus the entire time.
Partners might move into or out of the position as they explore other types of stimulation, whether that includes using toys, oral sex, or simply shifting into positions that feel more comfortable. Treating scissoring as one option among many, rather than something you have to stick with, can make the experience feel more relaxed and responsive to what feels good in the moment.
6. You May Not Love It, and That’s Fine
“Scissoring takes some time to get used to, so don’t worry if it doesn’t work perfectly the first time,” says Marie.
“It might take a few tries to find a comfortable position that works for both of you,” adds Rowett. Like any form of intimacy, it can involve some trial and error as partners figure out what feels best.
And if, after experimenting, it’s simply not your thing, that’s completely normal. Every body responds differently, and there are many other ways to explore pleasure and connection together.
