One of the many sex myths women tend to internalize from a young age holds that men hate going down on us. It’s a close cousin of the rumor that our vaginas smell gross, both of which primarily come to us from middle school boys who have no idea what they’re talking about or how badly they’re screwing their future selves over by making us self-conscious about ever letting a man down there. But despite what you may have heard from your 7th grade crush or noted non-pussy-eater DJ Khaled, lots of men genuinely like eating women out. In fact, plenty of guys out there actively love eating pussy.
If you came of age believing cunnilingus is something most men hate, many will refuse to do, and a rare few will begrudgingly put up with, I realize this may come as a shock. But the reality is that most men who are sexually attracted to women are generally willing if not actively eager to perform oral sex on their female partners. Per a study published in the journal PLOS One in 2017, 77 percent of men said giving oral was “somewhat” or “very appealing.”
Realistically speaking, this shouldn't be terribly surprising. While oral sex isn’t for everyone, it’s an extremely common sex act that naturally appeals to people of all genders. After all, as comedian Taylor Tomlinson has observed, sex is mostly just “putting your mouth on everything”—and that includes your partner’s genitals.
Unfortunately, the same patriarchal conditioning that convinces women most men see eating pussy as a dreaded chore also enforces the belief that men are only interested in sex if it directly involves their penis. Why would a guy enjoy going down on you if he’s not literally getting his dick wet in the process?
Ultimately, most of these misconceptions stem from dated, sexist ideas about gender, sex, and masculinity. Meanwhile, the reality is that most men who are attracted to women just genuinely enjoy having sex with them—and that generally includes performing oral. Of course, not all men like going down on women and not all oral enthusiasts like it for the same reasons, but here are a few of the most common ones.
3 Reasons Men Like Going Down on You
1. He Likes Getting You Off
One of the reasons men like to give oral sex is because they love to please their partners. Many women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex alone, and for those who require external stimulation, oral sex may be one of the only or most effective ways they can reach climax with a partner. For all the talk of men being selfish lovers, a lot of guys get off on getting their partners off.
“For many men, knowing they’re the source of their partner’s pleasure is a huge turn-on,” says sexologist Lilith Foxx. “It’s not just about giving, it’s about sharing an experience.”
Are there some potentially problematic undertones to consider here re: men being more invested in your orgasm for the sake of their ego than your pleasure? Perhaps! But ultimately, getting off on getting each other off is really just part of sex, and a partner who finds your pleasure a turn-on for any reason is a far better playmate than one who only cares about their own.
2. He’s Turned on By the Smell and/or Taste
For some men, the smell and taste of pussy is a very primal, instinctive turn-on that accompanies the very primal, instinctive act of going down on a woman. Anna Richards, a sex educator and founder of the ethical porn site FrolicMe, says that many men are turned on by the sensory elements of cunnilingus, “such as being able to smell and taste a partner, see them up close, feel them against their tongue, and hear them moaning.”
3. He Loves the Intimacy
Putting your face between someone’s legs is about as up close and personal as it gets. “There’s something incredibly intimate about being so close to your partner in such a vulnerable way,” Foxx says. The taste, smell, and psychological thrill of being in control of a partner’s pleasure is one thing, but the sense of physical and emotional intimacy can be a huge turn-on for men as well.
So if you’ve got a man eating you out these days, rest assured there are plenty of very good reasons why he probably really does want to be down there. But don’t take it from me. I took the liberty of asking real, enthusiastically pussy-eating men to explain what they love about it in their own words. Here’s what ten guys had to say about why they absolutely love eating you out.
10 Men on Why They Love Eating Women Out
1. “It's lots of fun, extremely erotic, and a huge turn-on. And most women need oral to come anyway, so it’s a win-win, which is part of what good sex is all about.” —Ryan, 28
2. “It feels like this incredible erotic secret between us that my fingers and tongue can make her respond in that way, and feeling her climax into a happy puddle on the bed is just the best.” — Adam, 48
3. “I’m a visual guy, so I appreciate any chance I get to be in between my girlfriend’s legs, especially if she hasn’t gotten a bikini wax in a while.” — Jason, 32
4. “I like that it’s a very emotional experience. She’s trusting you and exposing herself to you. She’s showing you her most vulnerable parts, the sounds she makes, her smell and her taste, and how she moves when she’s feeling good.” —Jordan, 28
5. “My favorite part about it is how much it pleases her. Like, I enjoy the taste and it turns me on, but I’m not doing it as an ego boost for myself. I’m doing it for her.” —Scott, 23
6. “The arousing feeling afterward is the best part. I usually have a beard, so things get a bit messy on my end. One time after my ex came, I came up for air, wiped her juices off my beard, and tasted it from my hands. Once she saw this, she immediately grabbed my face to kiss me.” —Tony, 30
7. “I like the flavor, the scent, the texture, and her physical and audible reactions. I like the power play that comes with being incredibly dominant in controlling her pleasure and then switching to a more submissive role in being directed by her hand in my hair, guiding me where to aim my tongue.” —Jabari, 29
8. “It’s a natural instinct, like a craving. Pleasing women is almost like an addiction.” —Mike, 27
9. “Maybe this is a nerdy answer, but I like being analytical about the experience. I’m dating someone who noticeably smells and tastes different depending on the day and what she eats, so whenever I plant my face between her legs, I like to guess what she’s done that day. Sometimes her taste is sweaty and sometimes it’s sweet, like dessert. I’ll gradually find myself thinking, “Ahh.. a hint of strawberry shortcake. Yum.” —Anthony, 29
10. “I’m Italian, so romance is a strong part of my culture. Pleasuring a woman in multiple ways in and out of the bedroom is the ultimate sign of romance. I take pride in being a good lover, and eating pussy is part of that. ” —Marco, 24
