There are two types of people, morning sex people and night sex people. Actually, there are three types of people if you count those with a preference for afternoon sex (which, tbh, is kind of flex), and four if you count the round-the-clock sexathoners who simply don’t have time to discriminate because they’re too busy, well, having sex all day. But which opinion is the correct opinion?
Surprise: any time of day you’re having sex is a great time to have sex. “Sex has the same benefits no matter when you have it—feelings of relaxation, stress reduction, closeness to your partner and the like,” says Lelo sexpert Laurie Mintz, PhD, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist. Ultimately, the night sex vs. morning sex debate really just comes down to a matter of personal preference and what works best for you and/or your partner(s). Ultimately, making time for sex is a far more important part of maintaining an active, fulfilling sex life than the time of day you do it. Hence why many experts recommend literally scheduling sex, especially for long-term partners (a suggestion we here at Cosmo not only echo but Enthusiastically Endorse).
Morning or Night, These Are the Vibes We Swear By
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That said! There are some unique perks to having sex at certain times of day vs. others, as well as various pros and cons that may have some folks gravitating towards one time over another. Let’s discuss, shall we?
Benefits of Morning Sex
Personally, while I’m all about the romantic vibes of an after-dark sex sesh, morning sex tends to find me feeling more relaxed, open-minded, and in my body. Morning breath aside, while nighttime sex may seem “sexier,” I have to give morning sex some serious points for boosting real intimacy. Not to mention, I tend to feel naturally hornier in the morning—which, according to Mintz, absolutely tracks.
“Hormone levels are associated with sex drive, and both testosterone and estrogen are at their highest in the morning,” she explains, adding that the morning is a great time to get it on as your body is likely already “primed” for sex, hormonally speaking.
Moreover, according to therapist Joy Berkheimer, PhD, chief sexologist at SXWA, “our bodies are naturally more relaxed in the morning after a good night’s sleep, which can lead to increased pleasure during intimacy.”
Not to mention, the oxytocin released during sex and (especially orgasm) can help you feel more connected to your partner throughout the day, says Berkheimer. Sex also has relaxation and stress-reduction effects thanks to the release of endorphins, which makes it a great way to destress before work/school/etc., and may even improve focus throughout the day, adds Mintz.
In short, not a bad way to start the day!
Benefits of Night Sex
Nighttime sex is often thought of as the default—the best time for setting the mood and slipping into a more sultry state of mind. But the perks of having sex at night go beyond the steamy aesthetics of it all. Much like morning sex, there are some legitimate health/sex life benefits to getting it on before bed.
According to sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, a sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer not only is a nighttime romp “the ultimate stress reliever” that can help you wind down after a long day, but it can also set you up for a better night’s sleep. “Because of the release of those happy hormones, you’ll be able to fall asleep more easily and sink into a deeper slumber,” says Stewart.
Having sex at night can also help you end the day on a positive note and connect with a partner. “As the sun sets, our bodies naturally transition back into a state of relaxation, making it the perfect time to melt into the intimacy of your partner,” says Berkheimer. “This transition can create a sense of safety and comfort that deepens your emotional connection, especially if you’ve planned on it, spoken about it, built up the anticipation, and finally followed through.” (Which, again, is a case for scheduling sex!)
Okay, but What About Afternoon Sex?
Afternoon sex tends to get left out of the age-old morning vs. night sex debate, but honestly, there’s many a case to be made for this dark-horse contender!
For one thing, afternoon sex is low-key elite. Like, you’re pretty much only getting railed in the middle of the day if you’re on vacation or can afford to either be unemployed or play hooky from your responsibilities, all of which sounds pretty ideal.
“Afternoon sex tends to occur when you have time (e.g., mid-day on a weekend) and so the entire encounter may last longer and include more fun and experimentation,” says Mintz. And while afternoon sex may mean long, leisurely vacation sex for some, Mintz notes that the afternoon is also primetime for a sneaky midday quickie—which is, you know, also very fun.
Either way, afternoon sex “can feel decadent and novel, which can enhance arousal,” says Mintz. And as many a sexpert will tell you, novelty is key to maintaining a thriving sex life.
“Afternoon sex is often ‘extra’ or spontaneous, so many people find it invigorating—especially if you feel like you’ve been in a funk,” says Angie Rowntree, founder and director of award-winning ethical porn site Sssh.com.
And lest you think this pro-afternoon sex take is all about fucking off and screwing around (literally), both Mintz and Berkheimer note that a lunch-break quickie can actually help you de-stress from whatever you’ve already checked off the to-do list and send you back to whatever responsibilities you’ve got waiting for you feeling reinvigorated.
So whatever time of day you’re reading this, consider this permission to take a sex break. You deserve it.
