Sober Curious? It's Time to Do a Deep Dive on Mindful Drinking

There's no denying there's been a culture shift when it comes to the way we drink—and even think about—alcohol. From the rise in celebrities sharing personal stories of going sober to the increase in people participating in Dry January and Sober October, it seems we're in the midst of a great boozing reset.

But alongside this, there's a second wave of drinkers who are making changes that don't involve total abstinence: those known as "sober curious" or "mindful drinkers," who are still willing to have a drink...but in moderation. A cheeky cocktail or glass of wine every now and then, minus the side of hangxiety the next day, if you will.

If you've heard the term "mindful drinking" before but aren't fully sure what it means—wonder no more! We asked the brilliant Laura Willoughby, founder of Club Soda (an organization that offers support for those wanting to change their relationship with alcohol) to explain, and also gathered some marvellous tips from Camille Vidal, founder of La Maison Wellness, a wellness company advocating for thoughtful consumption.

(Editor's Note: Reducing alcohol consumption, or going sober overnight, may not be an option for everyone. For some people, total abstinence may be the only way to go. If you're worried about your relationship with alcohol or fear you may be dependent upon it, speak to a doctor or trusted organization, such as SAMHSA’s National Helpline).

Being a mindful drinker means you actively pay attention to how alcohol impacts your life in all areas, from your quality of sleep to your relationships. Unlike going sober, it doesn't necessarily mean cutting out all forms of alcohol forever, but rather reducing your intake or perhaps taking a pause and doing a "sober sprint" for a few months.

Describing yourself as a mindful drinker can be helpful if you aren't yet sure of your end goal. "It's less rigid than saying, 'I am completely alcohol-free from now until forever,'" says Willoughby, who authored the book How To Be A Mindful Drinker. "It's about taking time to evaluate your drinking habits and how they do (or don't) fit in with the life you'd like to lead."

"If you're 'sober curious,' that's almost like the pre-cursor to actively engaging in mindful drinking," Willoughby adds. "Sober curious people are those who are starting to reflect on their relationship with alcohol and thinking they might like to change it. Those who are mindful drinkers are actively doing so, or are taking action following a contemplative period."

Vidal theorizes that it's likely due to "wellness becoming more top of mind" plus the "increasing availability of alcohol-free options, making mindful drinking easier and more enjoyable."

Our society is also becoming less judgmental of people who are choosing to drink less, or even nothing at all, Vidals adds. "As the stigma around mindful drinking fades, more people feel encouraged to explore it, and when they do, they experience firsthand how much better they feel."

Where do we start? As well as helping your bank account balance and reducing your chances of drunk-calling your ex, there are also some seriously positive health elements surrounding mindful drinking, says Vidal. "We already know that drinking less improves our well-being, sleep, and mental clarity, but beyond that, the latest medical studies show reducing alcohol consumption [reduces] the risk of cancer," she shares.

The World Health Organization notes that 30-50% of all cancer cases are preventable, and alcohol is linked to seven types of cancer, including oesophagus, liver, colorectal, and breast cancers. They also note that alcoholi is causally linked to 200 different disease and injury conditions

The CDC warns that approximately 20,000 U.S. adults die from alcohol-associated cancers every year, and recommends abstaining from alcohol or drinking in moderation. (The Dietary Guidelines for Americans defines "moderation" as two drinks or fewer in a day for men, and one drink or fewer in a day for women.)

Mindful drinking has also been shown to help improve sleep, lessen hunger, sharpen mental clarity, increase energy, improve mood, reduce anxiety, bolster relationships, and so much more.

"Firstly, ask yourself, 'What kind of life do I want to live and how does alcohol fit into it?'" advises Willoughby. Maybe you want to achieve more during your weekends, or have more control over the amount you drink. Actively considering all these things, rather than continuing to blindly reach for a pint after a stressful day at work, is a great first step.

You need to carve out time for reflection, too, Willoughby adds. Examine where and when you drink, and ask yourself questions like: Where was I when I last drank more than I wanted to? Who was I with that day? "It's about spotting patterns, which will then give clues about your behaviour and what it is you want to change (or avoid)," she says.

The majority of Club Soda members, she adds, abstain from alcohol entirely for an initial period of time—just to gain clarity and test themselves in social situations without an alcoholic crutch. "Taking time off from drinking will never do you any harm," Willoughby says. "If only a month feels doable, then do a month. But for a lot of people, three months is a charm. It gives you time to experience lots of different scenarios without alcohol, and see how you respond to them."

If you've reflected on your drinking habits and decided to make a change but are wondering what to do next, it's time to create your own rules. "Moderation needs rules," says Willoughby. Here are some examples:

• "I will only drink on a weekend, never during the week, because I want to feel fresh at work."
• "I will no longer drink alcohol when I'm alone."
• "I will not drink whiskey anymore, because I've realized it makes me aggressive."
• "I will not take shots in clubs, because they make me get drunk too quickly and feel out of control."
• "I will alternate between regular and alcohol-free beers at the bar."
• "I will make sure my first two drinks are non-alcoholic to determine whether I really want to drink or just feel like I should."

Once you make rules for your drinking, there are some other ways to make mindful drinking easier. For example, calling the venue ahead of time to see what non-alcoholic drinks they have, offering to host pre-drinks at your home and making mocktails for your friends, experimenting with different non-alc options, and reaching out and telling friends directly that you've cut back on drinking.

Lastly, focusing on all the wins that you gained while cutting back on booze will also help you stick to the goals or rules you've set for yourself. "Remember how brilliant it feels being able to fit three activities into a weekend, rather than just the one because you're hungover," advises Willoughby. "Think about how much clearer your skin looks, or how your friendships have improved. Whatever it is that you've noticed and appreciated, hang on to that."

This article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any concerns you may have regarding your alcohol consumption.

Jennifer Savin

Features Editor

 Jennifer Savin is Cosmopolitan UK's multiple award-winning Features Editor, who was crowned Digital Journalist of the Year for her work tackling the issues most important to young women. She regularly covers breaking news, cultural trends, health, the royals and more, using her esteemed connections to access the best experts along the way. She's grilled everyone from high-profile politicians to A-list celebrities, and has sensitively interviewed hundreds of people about their real life stories. In addition to this, Jennifer is widely known for her own undercover investigations and campaign work, which includes successfully petitioning the government for change around topics like abortion rights and image-based sexual abuse. Jennifer is also a published author, documentary consultant (helping to create BBC’s Deepfake Porn: Could You Be Next?) and a patron for Y.E.S. (a youth services charity). Alongside Cosmopolitan, Jennifer has written for The Times, Women’s Health, ELLE and numerous other publications, appeared on podcasts, and spoken on (and hosted) panels for the Women of the World Festival, the University of Manchester and more. In her spare time, Jennifer is a big fan of lipstick, leopard print and over-ordering at dinner. Follow Jennifer on Instagram, X or LinkedIn.

Kimberley Bond

Multiplatform Writer

Kimberley Bond is a Multiplatform Writer for Harper’s Bazaar, focusing on the arts, culture, careers and lifestyle. She previously worked as a Features Writer for Cosmopolitan UK, and has bylines at The Telegraph, The Independent and British Vogue among countless others.