In a glittery and heavily embellished soft-pink bridal lehenga, Deepti Vempati made a beeline for the exit in one of the final episodes of season 2 of Love is Blind and it felt like women around the country collectively cheered. It was the jaw-on-the-floor moment of the show’s widely popular season: After audiences watched Deepti’s fiancé talk behind her back about how unattractive he found her the entire season, she left him at the altar (or rather, mandap) and chose herself instead. Today, Deepti is single and living with her parents in Chicago (yes, despite the rumors about Kyle). In some ways, she’s right where she started. In other ways, she has emerged with a completely new perspective on life.
Abhishek Chatterjee, or “Shake,” was comfortably the show’s villain from the start. His initial conversations with the women on the show were sketchy at best. He asked probing, rude questions about how much they exercised, weighed, their dress size, and unforgettably, whether or not he might be able to lift them on his shoulders at a music festival. After Shake asked one castmate what her size was, Iyanna McNeely turned to the camera and whispered, “What the fuck?”
But while most of the women this season were instantly turned off by the shallow dialogue, Deepti saw something in Shake. Both first-generation Indian Americans, they confessed to one another that they had only ever dated blonde, white people prior to meeting each other. They shared a history of body dysmorphia and physical insecurities, which Shake later revealed was the reason for his unhealthy obsession with appearance. And they hit it off: The two related almost immediately on growing up desi in America and prioritizing “the hustle” to achieve their respective dreams of financial security and a family. Shake said the connection was unlike anything he had ever experienced.
On the surface, it looked like he had evolved through his relationship with Deepti. But in hushed conversations with other men on the show, like Shayne and Jarrette, Shake revealed he was not physically attracted to Deepti, which she didn’t know until after she left him.
The day the reunion special dropped on Netflix, Cosmopolitan hopped on the phone with Deepti to talk about where things went wrong, where her relationship with Shake stands now, and whether she regrets going on Love Is Blind.
Cosmo: First things first, how are you?
Deepti: I’m good. I’m doing great. The amount of love and support I’ve gotten has been so overwhelming, but I’m so grateful for it. So you know, taking it day by day.
What does that day to day look like after being on a show like Love Is Blind?
It’s a lot because I’m still working. And then this whole added layer of emotion and the attention and support has been a lot to deal with. But honestly, all I can say is I’m humbled and I’m just so grateful that people are resonating with me, and they’re saying that I’m inspiring them. I’m just a regular person who did a thing, you know?
What compelled you to sign up for a show like Love Is Blind?
At first, I was skeptical because I was like, ‘There’s no way my brown parents are going to let me do this.’ But the more I thought about it, my whole life I’ve wanted to do things unconventionally. I’ve tried to pave my own path and do things my own way. Something about this experiment kind of enticed me. I wanted a unique love story. How cool would that be to tell my future kids, ‘Hey, I met your dad in this crazy way!’ That’s what drew me in.
Even if it was in the pursuit of love, do you have any regrets at all about going through what you went through so publicly?
I’ve been thinking about this question a lot. And as much as I could harp on the what-ifs, I think I was acting in the best way that I possibly could in the moment. It was such an intense and unique experience that I’ve never been through. I think I was meant to go through this with Shake, to learn more about myself. And to know that I’m strong, and I can get through any situation….If I can get through this in a public way, honestly, I can get through a lot in life. So no, I have no regrets.
Can you share with me one of your deal breakers that maybe you didn’t realize was a deal breaker until you went through the process?
Emotional intelligence and just having self-awareness. Reading the room. That’s huge for me. Ironic, right? Those are really my biggest deal breakers. I shouldn’t have to babysit somebody emotionally.
What were some of Shake’s red flags that you heard watching the show back that you didn’t catch while experiencing the relationship?
Shake was open about the fact that we had chemistry lacking and there’s this physical appearance thing for him. But you don’t see my side of it too. I was also very hesitant. Shake is not the normal guy that I would go for. And sometimes the way he spoke also, it was tough to kind of watch it back in a moment. Because even though there was chemistry lacking between us, it’s how you say something, especially if you consider somebody your friend. And I was his fiancée at that time.
Speaking of which, Shake said a few things about you to the other male cast members, including telling Jarette that you reminded him of his aunt. What did you make of those comments?
It was kind of triggering and hard to hear how he said it, calling me his “aunt.” It’s just tough to hear criticism or negativity surrounding you when it’s not to your face. Before edits, he did say way more.
I wasn’t jumping his bones either because that love has to be reciprocated. And so, you know, if someone’s not feeling it, I’m definitely not feeling it. So I wasn’t trying to push him too hard. He wasn’t my physical type, but to me, that doesn’t matter that much. It’s more the emotional connection for me, but even emotionally he wasn’t really there for me. Even though we had a great time and it was really fun, I needed more from him. And I wasn’t getting that. And he just lacked self-awareness.
Shake was never outwardly mean to me to my face or anything like that. He spoke really highly of me, so that’s why it was disheartening to watch it back.
When did you really know things were over with Shake behind the scenes?
I think starting off in Mexico, I could feel him distancing himself from me a little bit on an intimate level. That was my number one sign. I was like, “Hmm okay, something’s off.” One thing that specifically stands out to me is when we had that massage date. It felt so inauthentic and forced. I don’t want to force a physical connection. I just think that’s dumb. Like, why do that when we owe it to each other to find the best people for us. We shouldn’t have to push intimacy. It should be natural, right? Those were moments where I was just like, there’s no point in trying here anymore. If he doesn’t see me and he doesn’t see the potential, there’s nothing here.
On the show, Shake called you his best friend. Is that still true?
I really wanted to celebrate our friendship. At least through this experience, I found a best friend, right? We had such a good time. We have a bond with music and going through this together…but after wrapping, I saw his character more and how he interacted with social media and just what he was posting. I was just like, “You know, this isn’t it for me.” Even as a friend, I think I distanced myself. So we drifted apart after the show aired. I’m just going to keep my energy protected and let him do his own thing and just move on.
On a completely different note, let’s talk about the cultural aspect of being desi on this show. Shake said in episode 6 that he’s dated a lot of white girls, but that he met an “Indian girl that really blew him away.” When you listen to that back, what do you think that says about how Shake thought about women within his own culture?
I don’t know what Shake thinks, but I’ve read a lot of articles on internalized racism and I think it’s very interesting that we had both exclusively dated white people. Honestly, I’ve only dated two people in my whole life, not an abundance of men. I was with my college boyfriend for three years and my last boyfriend for six years. I did try to run from my culture my whole childhood because I just wanted to fit in. And now as an adult looking back, I think I should have embraced it.
You said you’re carving your own path and you do things untraditionally, but did you ever connect throughout all of this how similar Love Is Blind is to a traditional rishta, or arranged marriage?
It’s definitely like an arranged marriage. My mom said to me, “You know I will support you in whatever you want to do…but you’re a hypocrite.” I’ve been turned off by the whole concept of an arranged marriage before, but I think you have to be open because you can meet someone in the most unorthodox way, right? And so if someone says, “You know, I have a great guy for you because I know your personality and I know what you’re looking for and I think he checks all the boxes for you,” and if you guys connect, you can go for it, right? So it is the same concept and I think this has opened my mind up a little bit more. I’m willing to go that route if that falls into my lap.
Natalie is also Asian and we talked about culture all the time. We had a lot of responsibility to represent our cultures. We don’t want to let people down. It’s hard to navigate because you’re trying to authentically be yourself at the same time. It’s uncharted territory. So yeah, we took that responsibility and we tried to handle it with care.
So after this, what’s your opinion: Is love truly blind?
Love can be blind if the right people are involved and if they both are in the mindset that they want to make this thing work.
