41 Times Celebs Absolutely Roasted Their Exes in Breakup Songs
Shakira and Miley are truly just the beginning….
2023 has only been doing its thing for approximately five minutes, and we already have two celebrities out here absolutely eviscerating their exes in songs. Obviously, we're talking about 1) Miley Cyrus's "Flowers"—which she went ahead and released on Liam Hemsworth's birthday, with lyrics that are allegedly a direct reference to a Bruno Mars song he dedicated to her. And 2) Shakira's new collab with Bizarrap, where she tells her ex Gerard Piqué to work out his brain for once, comes for his new girlfriend (You traded a Ferrari for a Twingo / You traded a Rolex for a Casio), and makes a jab at his mom (who, by the way, is fully her next-door neighbor).
And while Shakira and Miley are clearly doing the most, celebrities have been roasting their exes pretty much since the dawn of time. Obviously, an entire college thesis could be written about all the times Taylor Swift has dragged her exes in lyrics (I'm assuming John Mayer sleeps with one eye open at this point), but everyone from Demi Lovato and Alanis Morissette to The Weeknd have dropped breakup songs that are pretty not-so-subtly about past relationships. (Hey, we all handle heartbreak differently, right?) And some of them have revealed kinda shocking information. It's a lot!
Anyway, check out 41 times celebs roasted their exes in songs to feel better about your own levels of petty. 🙃
Carly Simon @ Warren Beatty
In case you've been wondering, Carly Simon confirmed that "You're So Vain" is, in fact, about her ex Warren Beatty. Well, at least the second verse is. As Carly put it to People, "Warren thinks the whole thing is about him."
Fully on the floor at this, but let me revive myself to drop that second verse real quick:
You had me several years ago when I was still quite naive / Well you said that we made such a pretty pair / And that you would never leave / But you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me
Nick Jonas @ Miley Cyrus
Nick was beyond emo about his breakup with Miley Cyrus and channeled all his feels into Jonas Bros music (lol at his brothers having to come along for this ride). One song that's clearly about his ex? "S.O.S."—which includes the lyrics:
Told you I made dinner plans / For you and me and no one else / That don't include your crazy friends / Well I'm done / With awkward situations, empty conversations
Tell us how you really feel, Nicholas!
Miley Cyrus @ Nick Jonas
Miley and Nick dated for a while, and apparently they were pretty serious, because "7 Things" couldn't be more dramatic. I mean, the lyrics are next-level:
The 7 things I hate about you / You're vain, your games, you're insecure / You love me, you like her / You make me laugh, you make me cry / I don't know which side to buy / Your friends they're jerks / And when you act like them, just know it hurts / I wanna be with the one I know / And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do / You make me love you
Oh, and in case you want more proof that this song is about Nick, she's wearing a dog tag he gave her in the video.
Ed Sheeran @ Ellie Goulding
So, here's the thing: "Don't" by Ed Sheeran isn't just about Ellie Goulding. It's about Ellie Goulding and former One Directioner Niall Horan, who allegedly hooked up while Ellie was dating Ed. Just ask these lyrics:
You didn't need to take him to bed that's all / And I never saw him as a threat / Until you disappeared with him to have sex of course / It's not like we were both on tour / We were staying on the same fucking hotel floor
Ellie Goulding @ Ed Sheeran
While Ellie has denied that "On My Mind" is about Ed Sheeran, let's take a look at the lyrics, shall we?
Next thing that I know, I'm in a hotel with you / You were talking deep like it was mad love to you / You wanted my heart, but I just liked your tattoos
I mean, the hotel reference? The tattoos? C'mon.
Demi Lovato @ Joe Jonas
Demi's going to show up on this list several times, but let's kick things off with "Gonna Get Caught," which is fully about Joe Jonas—a fact Demi herself confirmed while musing that Joe's brother Nick actually helped her write it, lol.
Lyrics include: You pull me in with your smile / You make me melt with your voice / Now I've been gone now for awhile / Just to find that I'm your seventh choice
Shakira @ Gerard Piqué
Settle in because Shakira's lyrics to "BZRP Music Session #53" (which is CLEARLY about Gerard Piqué) include:
You left me as a neighbor to the mother-in-law / With the press at the door and the debt at the IRS / You thought you'd hurt me, but you made me tougher / Women don't cry anymore, women invoice
But that's not all! She also came for Gerard's new girlfriend with this casual verse:
You traded a Ferrari for a Twingo / You traded a Rolex for a Casio / You're going fast, slow down / Ah, a lot of gym but work your brain a little too
Please be advised that Gerard responded to this by driving around a Twingo and wearing a Casio :)
Phoebe Bridgers @ Paul Mescal
Right around the time rumors were swirling about Phoebe and Paul's breakup, Phoebe was featured on SZA's song "Ghost in the Machine." And the lyrics were...um....telling.
Ahem: You said all of my friends are on my payroll / You're not wrong, you're an asshole / Screaming at you in the Ludlow / I was yours for free
Miley Cyrus @ Liam Hemsworth
On top of releasing "Flowers" three years after finalizing her divorce from Liam Hemsworth, Miley released the song on his birthday and then sat back while fans took approximately two seconds to decode the lyrics. I mean, the line built a home and watched it burn? Tell me this song is about Liam Hemsworth without telling me this song is about Liam Hemsworth.
Taylor Swift @ Joe Jonas
Joe is arguably the first super-famous ex to be called out by Tay via music—and fans suspect several of her songs are about him. (Can we take a moment to appreciate how even Joe's wife Sophie Turner couldn't deny "Mr. Perfectly Fine" is "not NOT a bop"). But the VERY first song about him was the ironic "Forever and Always"—and Taylor admitted as much on Ellen at the time. Some of the savage lyrics? Allow us...
Was I out of line? / Did I say something way too honest / Made you run and hide / Like a scared little boy
Welp. Your move, Joe...
Joe Jonas @ Taylor Swift
The lyrics to "Much Better" by the Jonas Brothers are assumed to be about Tay (who, according to her, Joe dumped via an infamous 27-second phone call). Check out the lyrics:
I get a rep for breakin' hearts / Now I'm done with superstars / And all the tears on her guitar / I’m not bitter
If that's not a reference to Tay's "Teardrops on My Guitar," IDK what it is.
Miranda Lambert @ Blake Shelton
First there's the title: "Got My Name Changed Back." Then there's the fact that the entire song is about divorce. And THEN there's the fact that these are the lyrics:
Well I've got me an ex that I adored / But he got along good with a couple road whores
Truly speechless.
Perrie Edwards @ Zayn Malik
Remember when Perrie Edwards was dating Zayn Malik? Honestly, me neither, but they had a very messy split. Messy enough for Perrie to write "Shout Out to My Ex" with Little Mix, with casual lyrics like:
Guess I should say thank you / For the 'hate yous' and the tattoos / Oh baby I'm cool by the way / Ain't sure I loved you anyway / Oh, and I hope she gettin' better sex / Hope she ain't fakin' it like I did
Over to you, Zayn!
Alanis Morissette @ Dave Coulier
That's right, friends, "You Oughta Know" is about Dave Coulier. Which means lines like this were written with Uncle Joey from Full House in mind:
Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on you in a theater?
I'll give you a moment.
Ray Jay @ Kim Kardashian
I mean, on top of the cover art for "I Hit It First" being a pixilated version of what appears to be Kim's body, the lyrics include unsubtle lines, like:
She might move on to rappers and ball players, but we all know I hit it first.
Yet, despite all that, Ray J denied that the song was about Kim, saying, "It's a song, it's not about that, it's about a concept."
K.
Taylor Swift @ John Mayer
Don't even know where to begin on "Dear John," so let's just get into the lyrics. First up:
I lived in your chess game / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone
And also:
Don't you think nineteen's too young to be played by your dark twisted games / When I loved you so?
JOHN MAYER, EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
Katy Perry @ Russell Brand
Katy Perry's marriage to Russell Brand didn't exactly end well, and "Part of Me" is reportedly about their breakup, and including lyrics like:
You chewed me up and spit me out and you ripped me off, your love was cheap.
Something tells me these two are...not on good terms!
Morgan Evans @ Kelsea Ballerini
Shortly after his divorce from Kelsea Ballerini, Morgan Evans dropped "Over For You," implying he was blindsided by their split, with lyrics like:
How many times did you say you loved me when it wasn't true? / I'm just wondering / How long has it been over for you?
Her response incoming....
Kelsea Ballerini @ Morgan Evans
Meanwhile, Kelsea dropped "Blindsided"—and a slew of other songs about the divorce on her new EP, Rolling Up the Welcome Mat—which features lyrics that are clearly about her and Morgan's split. I mean:
I'd go write a song, and you'd go for a walk / We had to get drunk to ever really talk / I told you what I needed, didn't have to rеad my mind / So, were you blindsided or wеre you just blind?
She wins, next.
Olivia Rodrigo @ Joshua Bassett
The second Olivia Rodrigo dropped "drivers license," fans assumed it was about her High School Musical: The Musical: The Series ex Joshua Bassett dating Sabrina Carpenter. The most telling lyrics?
And you're probably with that blonde girl who always made me doubt / She's so much older than me / She's everything I'm insecure about
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