Getting cheated on can be heart-wrenching, embarrassing, and can maybe even reshape someone’s perspective on love itself. But in a few states across the country, it’s also an offense that warrants legal action. This week, former Arizona senator Kyrsten Sinema made news for a lawsuit she’s involved in that was filed under the alienation of affection law (colloquially referred to as the “Homewrecker Law”) which allows spouses to seek damages from any third party who could have played a role in their marriage’s demise, whether it’s an interfering family member or a lover.
Now, Sinema has been pulled into an alienation of affection case because of an alleged affair she had with a member of her security detail, Matthew Ammel. Matthew’s now-ex-wife, Heather Ammel, whom he was with for 14 years, claims to have found evidence of inappropriate behavior and suggestive texts exchanged during their marriage between Matthew and Kyrsten on the encrypted messaging app Signal. She also claims that before the alleged affair, she and her ex had a “good and loving marriage,” which is why she’s now seeking more than $25,000 in damages.
Even though Kyrsten left the Senate last year, the case has captured national attention for a couple of reasons: (1) The alleged affair occurred while she was still in public office, and (2) there is widespread confusion about the unique “Homewrecker Law” and what consequences people sued under it actually face. So allow us to break down where, and how, justice for scorned lovers gets served in the court of law.
What exactly is the “Homewrecker Law”?
Alienation of affection laws were codified in many U.S. states in the 19th and 20th centuries and as early as the 17th century in England. These claims were originally developed based on the (now quite dated) idea that wives were their husbands’ property and that any attempt to interfere with a “happy” marriage was an infringement on a man’s material belongings. It’s also been referred to as the “heart balm” tort, because it compensates spouses who’ve been “wronged” by outside interference. Today, jilted spouses seek compensatory damages as retribution for being robbed of the “love, society, companionship, and comfort [benefits that arise] out of the marital relationship,” law professors Charles E. Daye and Mark W. Morris told the Washington Post.
Where is the “Homewrecker Law” recognized?
North Carolina (where Sinema was sued) is one of the very few states that still recognize this law. These are the regions where an affair could get you sued under an alienation of affection claim:
- Hawai‘i
- Mississippi
- New Mexico
- North Carolina
- South Dakota
- Utah (but as of last week, its state legislature is considering abolishing the law.)
What evidence does a “Homewrecker Law” case require?
To sue under this claim, you must first prove that your marriage was in a solid place before the third party’s interference…so basically show that love existed between both spouses. You’ll also need evidence that the defendant’s actions were a direct cause of the loss of love and affection within the marriage. That evidence can include social media posts, witness testimony, records of outings together, or private messages exchanged (like those referenced in Sinema’s case).
Who can be considered a “homewrecker” under this law?
Pretty much anyone who can be linked to the breakdown of a marriage could be required to pay damages under this legislation. That includes an intrusive in-law, therapist, clergy member, or, most commonly, as in the Sinema-Ammel case, a lover.
Why does this law only apply in some states?
Most states have abolished this law due to its dated origins. Kentucky’s 1992 state Supreme Court ruling that eliminated the statute actually affirmed that “affection between spouses cannot be owned.” Alienation of affection cases are also difficult to prove and may conflict with no-fault divorce laws, which are permitted in every U.S. state and do not require couples to assign blame to either party to dissolve their marriage.
While very few jurisdictions recognize these alienation of affection claims, a handful of cases still pop up every year—North Carolina sees around 200 to 250 annually, with compensation being granted in the hundreds of thousands. And the $25,000 Kyrsten Sinema is being asked to pay has thrust this unique, and often emotionally fraught, legal tort back into the national spotlight.
Annabel Iwegbue is a culture editor at Cosmopolitan, where she primarily covers pop culture, lifestyle, relationships, and digital trends. She previously wrote for Harper's Bazaar, The Knockturnal, and Black Film. She's originally from Charleston, South Carolina, and is currently based in Brooklyn, New York. She holds a B.A. in Journalism and Cinema Studies from New York University. You can check out some of Annabel’s work here and also find her on Instagram and Twitter.
